Mrs. Akima was a kindly if absent minded woman with a penchant for sticking her nose where it was most certainly uncalled for. She also had such a bright smile ( to make up for her less than shining -one could even call it dull- wits they would say in that back handed compliments sort of way) and such a kindly nature that most forgave her overly inquisitive nature. She also had rich brown hair streaked through with silver streaks and a still trim figure despite her invariable fondness for food (One must keep trim to chase after gossip and rumors they would knowingly nod amongst themselves or Her wagging tongue gives her enough exercise they would sometimes muse.)

Mrs. Akima also worked as a secretary for one of the many business corporations a certain Winner family from L4 owned. Her boss was a plain spoken man in his fifties with an expansive laugh. Her instinctive knowledge to put people at ease (to make up for other lacks, they would speculate) and to make friends offset his somewhat stiff formality with strangers perfectly. Their company was under an annual spot check to evaluate security and so thus it was that Mrs. Akima met Heero Yuy, or Mr. Yuy as she would call him.

And never would Mr. Yuy's life be the same again.

(Insert Remix of Twilight Zone/X Files/medley of Willy Wonka songs midi here)

Mrs. Akima rather vaguely sat blinking at the various pastel post it notes on her desk and looked up with a relieved smile. Finally, someone to relieve her boredom, and it was that handsome Mr. Yuy too. He was a nice young man with messy hair that kept her fingers itching for the nearest comb and shears. For once, he had on a decent pair of dress slacks and matching jacket instead of those clinging jeans and t shirt (She refused flat out to even contemplate the scandalous short *tights* he sometimes wore. Besides tight clothing caused infertility and impotence!). She upped her smile a watt in automatic approval.

The elderly secretary couldn't help but like the young man, so polite if rather quiet. It helped that his voice reminded her a great deal of her husband's, though she did let loose a lingering shudder when she sometimes speculated what Mr. Yuy's singing voice was like.

Mr. Yuy walked up to her desk with a firm stride, "Hello, Mrs. Akima. Is Mr. Kuzasu in?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Yuy. He had to leave early - something about one of his brothers - he has four of them you know, one adopted." She whispered all sneak like and conspiratorially, "The adopted one, I don't have anything against adopted children, but really he's the bad egg in the family!, is *such* a bad influence on poor Mr. Kuzasu and the rest of the siblings."

Mr. Yuy nodded with exquisite understanding (Such a bright boy, she thought with fondness.) and held out a business card. "I wanted to go over the preliminary security upgrades before the weekend since I'll be out of touch for the next few days. If he needs to contact me though, there's an emergency number on the back."

Mrs. Akima nodded, giving only a cursory look at the card. She gasped though at the bite mark on Mr. Yuy's out stretched hand. It was a half circle of bright red at the web of flesh between the thumb and index finger. The older woman didn't get much of a look before Mr. Yuy hurriedly removed his hand from sight. His blue eyes met her brown ones squarely as if resignedly expecting some sort of remark.

And Mrs. Akima so hated to disappoint. "Oh, Mr. Yuy! Do you have a pet?"

Mr. Yuy jumped slightly, giving her an odd look, but nodded slowly. "You could call it that." A certain gleam entered his eyes. Mrs. Akima decided it was embarrassment. Fancy that, Mr. Yuy actually embarrassed at having an affection for some cute fluffy creature.

She automatically assumed all animals were cute and cuddly, then again she also automatically assumed that persons who talked like a woman, looked like a woman, and dressed like a woman *were* women. So obviously her assumptions weren't worth the ass they were 'umping.

"Is it a dog?"

Mr. Yuy shook his head. Mrs. Akima frowned slightly - she had thought he was a dog boy sort of person. Oh fudge. "A cat then?"

If anything the gleam in Mr. Yuy's eyes intensified. "Ah. A black cat."

She clapped her hand in delight, happy as any winning contestant in a game show. The young man must really love his pet to give unsolicited information; a more closed mouth and frustrating individual couldn't be found unless their jaw happened to be wired shut, she would often fume. "A kitten?"

"No… Almost an adult. Still growing though - or so he thinks from the way he's eating." The last part was almost mumbled but Mrs. Akima's sharp ears, ears that had been scouted by various 3 letter government agencies, latched on and proceeded to suck that scrap dry.

"So it's a he? How cute! And still growing, he must have been adorable as a baby."

There was that gleam again! "I wouldn't know. We met when he was still… between the kitten and cat stage."

"Ohhhh… That would explain the bite mark then." She nodded her head sagely. "He's probably still teething. Or maybe you played with him too roughly, Mr. Yuy. Cats tend to bite when they're feeling vulnerab-" Mrs. Akima broke off as the poor man broke off into a fit of coughs.

"Mr. Yuy?"

"Ah. Sorry. Couldn't catch my breath."

She waved a box of cough drops at him, the little squares making rattling noises.

"Cough drop?"

"No, thank you. I'm fine now."

"Well, I won't hold you back then, it being a Friday night and all. Carpe diem to a young man like you, right?"

"Ah. Carpe diem."

"Off you go then. And oh, Mr.Yuy? Give your kitty a nice pat for me and don't play too rough with him. Maybe if you distract him with a few new toys he'll stop biting your hand."

In a dazed sort of way the Japanese man nodded and bid her good bye. His last few, mumbling words were something about stopping at a store for some toys.

She fair glowed with glee and triumph. She couldn't wait to see what her advice wrought.

Mrs. Akima happily hummed as she applied another layer of bright red nail polish. She wiggled her toes happily. Red was *such* a marvelous color. The secretary looked up guiltily when the office door opened but relaxed once more as she saw it was that sweet Mr. Yuy.

"Hello, Mr. Yuy." She waggled her hand at him, half in greeting and half in a bid to dry her nails faster. "How was your weekend?" She wrinkled her nose. Gone was the stylish outfit and in place of it, he wore those painted on jeans and poor excuse for a tank top. Hmm… was it possible that Mr. Yuy had a date last weekend to dress up for? She filed that interesting little tidbit to nibble on later.

Wordlessly, he held out his hands. The old bite had faded slightly but several new ones along with some scratches along his arms now marked the young man. Gravely, he replied, "I did exactly what you told me. It just got him more excited."

"My… my, my. Even with the toys?"

And once again a certain gleam entered Mr. Yuy's eyes. "Especially with the toys."

Mrs. Akima frowned in thought. "And you weren't too rough with him?"

"… Not more that usual."

"Hm. Were you sure he liked the toys?"

"Mrs. Akima, I can guarantee that he adored the toys." The absolutely sincere tone in which this was voice gave the woman a vast sense of accomplishment. Imagine that - such a competent and self assured man like Mr. Yuy thanking *her* for giving advice. But outwardly she still remained frowning.

"Well, Mr. Yuy. If it's such a problem trying to control your cat, you might have to put a muzzle on him as a last resort.

Mr. Yuy twitched noticeably, "A muzzle?"

"Just so. Oh but only as a last resort and for punishment when he's naughty. I mean, you can hardly have him leaving marks whenever he's feeling frisky, now can we?"

"Hardly." Mr. Yuy's face had taken on a decidedly contemplative look. The poor, harassed young man was probably thinking of the more pleasant and bite/scratch free home environment within his grasp.

Mrs. Akima congratulated herself for that last bit of improvisation. Dogs were certainly muzzled; she couldn't quite be so sure about cats. Oh well. What else could she contribute? Ah, yes. "And collars! In case he gets lost outside, people will know where to return him. But remember not to fasten it too tight - we don't want him choking or chafing now do we."

"No… No, of course not. We don't want him choking on the *collar*."

"Perhaps something with a bell so you'd always know where he is as well."

"Muzzle, collar with bell." Mr. Yuy looked up from his clipboard where he'd been taking notes. Such an efficient young man, she marveled. "Anything else?" He sounded so hopeful for more suggestions. This had her frantically searching her vast stockpile of haphazardly overheard conversations for more.

"Er… A leash, too? For walking?"

"Leash, check."

"Oh, and a cute sweater and booties in case the poor dear gets cold!"

Mr. Yuy's left eyebrow quirked. "What no matching pants?"

She giggled. "Don't be silly. Pants would be rather inconvenient in an emergency, no? Such a mess for you to clean after."

The poor man looked so overwhelmed by the wealth of information, Mrs. Akima couldn't help but give him an encouraging pat on the hand. "There, there. Pet care can be a huge responsibility. But the rewards are worth it, right?"

The faintest curve of a smile smoothly appeared, disappearing just as quickly. She blinked, only partially hearing Mr. Yuy's soft agreement. My, oh my oh my. That had been *quite* a smile. Mrs. Akima gave that smile great thought. Had it been directed at her comment or something else? Could it possibly have been a certain someone? That small tid bit tucked away for a rainy day came calling 'round quite insistently. It led her merrily down that petal strewn road of curiosity, that strange and twisted, never ending place which was eternally home to many a feline and neighbor.

Was Mr. Yuy courting someone?

And as many a fallen victim to the secretary's insatiable curiosity will fervently testify - Mrs. Akima sniffing after a clue was a bad, bad thing indeed.

So it was with no surprise, at least not to Mrs. Akima herself or those previously mentioned victims, that bright and early the next morning, Mr. Yuy found himself face to face (or vid link to vid link rather) with her beaming visage.

'Hn' was the singularly unremarkable comment offered by the rather sleepy looking young man.

With a little flutter and hum of her to date remarkably steady, almost staid, pulse, Mrs. Akima found herself appreciating the bare chest, rumpled hair, and sleep-roughened voice a good deal more than Mr. Akima would probably have been comfortable with. However, the sight of the small bruises and assorted scratches scattered across Mr. Yuy's upper torso brought her hormones back to reality.

"Ahh… Hallo there, Mr. Yuy. Just thought to ring you up, to check how your and your kitty was doing and all that." She frowned a bit. "Really, you look simply awful. Did you get any sleep at all last night? I don't think any of the things I said has helped you any."

From half asleep to fully awake in a mere second - Mrs. Akima found Mr. Yuy to be quite a marvel.

"Mrs. Akima… You've been more helpful than you'll ever realize."

"Why isn't that just the sweetest thing!" She gave a little sigh of gratification. Finally *someone* who appreciated all her efforts and advice. Then, out of the corner of her eyes she caught a movement behind Mr. Yuy and heard the faint tinkling sound of bells.

(They say that Mrs. Akima's peripheral vision and general acuity was a combination of bat, eagle, and professional voyeur. They usually gave a dramatic shudder here and thanked the heavens above for being able to control *their* tongues thankyouverymuch. After all, they had something much better to do than gossip about other people.

Or so they say.

Between you, me, and Sparky though - they were in denial and we weren't talking about the river running through Egypt neither. (In fact it was a little known, quaint brook which murmurs quietly between two bucolic counties in the upper Alps.)

"Mr. Yuy… Is the kitty there with you? May I have a look? Please?"

For some strange reason, Mr. Yuy seemed rather abashed to show her his kitty. Fancy that, Mr. Yuy being shy about something! If it wasn't for her insatiable curiosity jumping up and down throwing tantrums, Mrs. Akima would have certainly spent more time goggling at his fidgeting.

Of course, Mr. Yuy being Mr. Yuy, the term fidgeting could only be applied to in a broad sense here, broad like the butt of an overfed Oprah fanatic, blubbering into their fifth Weight Watcher t v dinner for the evening as the hostess confirmed that all was good and well in America (as long as she got her ratings).

"Please? Just a little glimpse of the little dear - it sounds like you took my advice about the bell and collar, and I'd just love to see what the little sweetheart looks like."

"Mrs. Akima… To tell the truth-"

Then it was a free for all, as a blur of chestnut and flesh tones knocked Mr. Yuy off camera with a particularly merry jingling of the bells. Mrs. Akima blinked, then blinked twice, but the image in front of her refused to go away. A young man, about the same age as Mr. Yuy she vaguely supposed, was gleefully smiling into the monitor with a black collar and bells wrapped around his neck - and supposedly nothing else because his chest was as bare as a baby's bum in the breeze while his diaper was being changed during an afternoon family picnic. Though after a good look at Mrs. Akima's shocked face and widened eyes, the young man looked decidedly shocked as well, his unusually colored eyes widening quite a bit.

"Umm… Heero?"

From off screen, Mr. Yuy's familiar voice replied, "You got yourself into this kitty, you get yourself out." He almost sounded amused.

The young man wrinkled his nose, glancing in the direction Mr. Yuy's remark had come from. He cocked his head to the side in an inquisitive manner, held a hand under his chin like a paw, and in a most winsome and hesitant manner said, "Meow?"

Mrs. Akima, having seen quite a bit during her younger years, managed to reply quite calmly, "And you must be Mr. Yuy's naughty kitty…"

"Umm… meow?"

After this, Mrs. Akima and Mr. Yuy reached an understanding. Mrs. Akima would gravely ask after his pet, and Mr. Yuy would just as gravely reply.

And if Mrs. Akima acquired a new set of kinks in her boudoir, Mr. Akima certainly wasn't one to complain.

-Owari-

Notes:….. o.O

There was a cameo ^_^ guess who? This was in tribute to my cat… no really, it *is* a cat ^^;; Her name is shini and she is very very bad *shakes head* I'll u/l some pics of her to my site later on ^^