"100, 99, 98, 97..."

It was the second time in 10 minutes that Wufei was counting to 100 backwards. If he didn't...if he didn't try to exercise his calm, his control...if he didn't remember mercy...he would kill one longhaired American Gundam pilot. Damn the consequences!

He sighed and pulled a pillow over his head, suppressing a groan. He hated boarding schools. He hated missions where he had to go undercover in boarding schools. He hated sharing a room. Usually, he got his own. But he hadn't been quick enough this time. Yuy had the single this time.

"No doubt driven to near insanity by this idiot." He murmured to himself.

No, Yuy was alone; Quatre and Trowa were sharing. That left him with...Maxwell.

He had tried really hard to be patient. After all, Duo was a trained soldier. They had nearly died together in an OZ prison. They had saved each other's backs countless of times. "But" he thought, as the high volume music made his head pound and swell with each screeching guitar run, "Dying with Duo is infinitely better than living with him."

He peeked out from under the pillow, glaring at his partner. The boy had just gotten out of the shower. He had nothing more covering himself except a towel around his narrow hips and his hair, which hung in heavy wet strands down his back. He was bobbing and wiggling to the music, using his hairbrush as a mic, singing at the top of his lungs. Wufei rolled his eyes. THIS was a highly trained, pilot and terrorist?

"Duo!" He attempted to shout over the den. He failed miserably. Still singing and dancing, Duo had twirled over to his clothes trunk, drawing out a pair of black silk boxers with..."Mickey Mouses!!!" Wufei gaped, jaw dropping...and shimmied into them under the towel . Tossing the towel, he grabbed a pair of loose black trouser, hopping into them, first one leg then the other, not missing a beat. Then he picked up the hair dryer.

That's it! Wufei fumed. I can't take another moment of this! He picked up a rolled pair of socks and sent it rocketing toward Duo head.

"Hey!" Duo turned, rubbing the back of his abused skull. "What's the big idea?!" Wufei read his lips more than heard him. After all the radio was still blaring.

"Turn off the radio?!"

"What?! I can't hear you. Wait a sec..."

"I SAID, turn of that thrice ..."

At that moment Duo went over to his stereo, cutting the power...

"...damned RADIO!" His voice echoed in the sudden silence. Duo blinked at him with wide eyes.

"Jeez man!" Duo said, looking faintly hurt, "You don't have to shout. I mean you could have just asked me nicely. Not like I could hear you, but oh you HAD to throw things..."

"Shut up! Heavens above, don't you ever stop talking? Do you know the meaning of silence?" Wufei could feel the heat in his face. Duo grinned.

"You sound like 'Mister Personality' now. He can't say anything to me other than 'Shut up, Duo.' 'I'm going to kill you, Duo.' Talk about dull conversation!"

Wufei sat up, tossing his pillow onto the head of his bed. "Who can blame him" he murmured under his breath.

"What was that?" Duo queried, looking suspicious.

" Oh, nothing! " he stood up stretching. "I need some air. " I need some PEACE, he thought, getting up heading for the door.

"Hey, where are you going? " Dou asked, he went back to his trunk pulling out an oversized purple shirt.

Where was he going? Wufei hadn't really thought about. Just way from Maxwell. Ah! He knew.

"I'm going to worship Nataku."

"What? Really?" The other boy's voice was muffled momentarily as he pulled the shirt over his head. "I'll go with you. I've always wondered what you were up to when you went to "worship Nataku..."

"What?! NO! " The Chinese pilot looked horrified. "NO you absolutely can not come with me!"

"Huh?" Duo looked dubious, he stood with legs apart, hands on hips, his head cocked to the side. "Why not? You are just going to sit and stare at your Gundam, right? I tell you, and people call me weird..."

Wufei sputtered, at a lost..."It is simply not possible. It is a very...private... thing."

"Private?" Duo's brows leaped into his hairline. "Private...like..." His expression became devilish. "Like masturbation?"

Wufei was speechless. The whites were showing around his black eyes. Then blood gushed in a sudden fountain from his nose.

"Shit!" he cursed, grabbing his nose, heading for the bathroom.

"Whoa!" Duo exclaimed, close behind. "Fei-kun! You OK? Boy, look at all that blood! Here's a towel."

Wufei grabbed the towel irritably and held it to his nose, head tilted back.

"Maxwell! You...you...hentai! No...it is not about...about THAT!"

"THAT? " Duo blinked innocently, "You mean masturbation? " Fresh blood spread into Wufei's towel. Duo laughed. Almost doubling over with mirth. "It is! It is! Wufei goes to "Worship Nataku" so he can jack off!" Duo was almost rolling on the floor now. Wufei saw red.

"Duo! Find a sword! Omae o Korosu!"

That really set the long hair boy off. He scrambled out of Wufei's reach, running back into their shared room.

"Mast-tur-ba-tion! Mast-stur-bation!"

"Maxwell!" Wufei stopped, breathing heavily. Duo was across the room from him, trying to catch is own breath. His lips still quirked.

Wufei collapsed onto his bed. He carefully removed the towel. The bleeding had stopped. He glared at Duo. "Don't you ever think of anything but sex?"

Duo threw himself onto his own bed, chin resting on his hand. "I'm a fifteen year old boy. What do you expect me to think about? Don't worry Wufei, masturbation is au natural...I do it..."

Wufei felt a renewed trickle of blood. "Duoooo!"

"SURELY you think about sex SOMETIMES."

"Maxwee~eelllll!"

Duo's eyes twinkled.

"Have you ever had sex before Wu-man? I mean...gone all the way?"

Wufei brought the towel back to his nose. "I can't BELIEVE I'm having this conversation." He muttered to himself, "With HIM of all people." Aloud he said., surly and defensive, "Yes."

Duo fell off his bed. "What?" he exclaimed, rubbing his backside as he levered himself back to the bed . "You?!"

"Me?! Yes, me!" he crossed his arms, offended. "Why do you look so surprise?"

Duo had the grace to look embarrassed. "Well...you just...you...you just seem so..." Wufei gaped. Maxwell at a loss for words? "well what I mean is...if anyone could be described as having a pipe up the..."

"........!"

"Well, you asked! Yeesh!"

"......."

The longhaired boy looked at him from under long dark lashes. "So um...Who was it? "

Wufei looked at his fellow pilot a long time. He was still irritated with the garrulous idiot but maybe...He reached his decision. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed the pain of memories over a year old.

"It was with...Nataku." he barely whispered.

"Na...ta?...KU?!" *Sweatdrop* Wufei glanced up at his roommate. Why did his voice sound so funny? The other boy was ghost pale; his jaw almost to the floor...he was giving Wufei the oddest look.

"Nataku?!" Duo glared, standing up in his bed, damp hair swirling about him. "Oh man Wu! You are seriously messed up!" he walked up and down the bed throwing his hand in the air. " You really need some help. A doctor! Pronto! Calling ME a hentai...."

Wufei's aim was unerring. He caught Duo square in face, causing the boy to loose his balance, toppling him and ending his rant at the same time.

"Don't be stupid! NOT that Nataku you idiot! By my ancestors!" he groaned, "How did I get stuck with you? " He fell back in the bed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm being punished for being unworthy....But this isn't JUST!" He glanced at Duo who now was sitting cross-legged on his bed, still looking dubious, the pillow held before him. "Nataku was my wife."

If Duo's eyes could have popped out of his head, they would have. "WIFE?! You were like...married? Daammmnnn man! You never said anything! A wife! Who'd 'a thought! And you actually slept with her..."

" I'm not going to kill him" Wufei thought, as Duo continued to expound on the subject, taking slow deep breaths, "I'm not. It would be dishonorable to kill a fool."

"What about a guy, Wu? Ever been with a dude?" Duo was on the verge of hysterics, eyeing his companion expectantly. Waiting for me to spring another nosebleed, I bet. Wufei fumed. He gritted his teethe. Well we shall see who has a nosebleed!

"I have."

Duo facevaulted. Wufei's lips twitched. He crossed his arms over his chest and crossed his legs.

"No!"

"Yes."

"WHO???!!!"

"As if I'd tell a chattering parrot like you!"

"Oh man...is it Trowa? No...No ...is it Heero? God, its Heero isn't it? I KNOW it's not Quatre...Come on! Who is it! Tell me! You can drop something like that on a guy and not tell 'm who it is..."

"Suffer, Maxwell." Wufei replied, enjoying himself immensely, thinking of gold-brown hair, ice-blue eyes, and lots of attitude. Serves the little bastard right.

"Well at least tell me, is it one of us?" Duo wheedled. Wufei examined the sword calluses on his palm.

"It's not." There! Let him chew on that!

".......!!!!!!"

Wufei grinned and rolled over onto his belly, giving in to the smile he'd been restraining when he saw the look on Duo's face.

"You aren't even going to give me a clue?"

"No."

Duo pouted. Wufei laughed. I can almost see the wheels twirling in that pretty head, Maxwell. Not that I'm worried you'll EVER guess. I can hardly believe it myself!

"Its not Dr. R...is it?" he queried in a small voice, looking at Wufei almost fearfully.

"Duo, NO! You little perv...!"

"OK ok ok..." he grumbled, "Just making sure..."

Wufei buried his head again in his pillow. "100, 99, 98, 97, 96..."

"No hints? Not even a little one?"

"....90, 89, 88...No! " Wufei growled between clenched jaws, ".....87, 86, 85...."

Wufei could sense the other's frustration. It brought him one whole minute of silence. Then.

"So. You have been with a girl AND a guy! Wow Wu! I'm impressed! You are a regular stud! Not near as uptight as you seem. Man! You are further down the road the we EVER gave you credit for...oops!" Duo suddenly stopped talking, covering his mouth in surprise.

"What. Did. You. Say?" Wufei looked up from his pillow, death in his eyes.

"Oh nothing...."

"I knew it!" Wufei sat up, shaking a fist at his roommate, "I knew you all talked about me behind my back! You dishonorable curs!"

Duo waved calming hands at him "Now Wu...it's not like that! Really!" His lips twitched. "We wouldn't say anything behind your back that we wouldn't say to your face."

Wufei pounced. Duo squawked as the very angry Chinese pilot landed on top of him and did his best to throttle him. I'm going to kill him! Honor be cursed!

"Wu..fei...stop...I can't... breathe...!"

"To bad!" Wufei said conversationally. This is really a lot of fun, he thought. I should have done this a looong time ago. He finally let up when the American began to turn a nice shade of purple. He stood back, watching Duo gasping for breath, a small smile of satisfaction across his face. That will teach him to show such disrespect!

"Dammit Wufei!" Duo gasped, rubbing his throat. "You are worse then Heero! Absolutely NO sense of humor..."

"Humph! I'll take that as a compliment considering the source." He went to his desk and took out the homework he had due for Monday. May as well do it. I'm certainly out of the meditating spirit NOW. He glanced at Duo who was still rubbing his neck, glaring daggers at him. "Why don't you do homework or something useful."

Duo pouted, dropping into his desk chair. "Did it already. " Wufei raised an eyebrow at that but didn't say anything. Instead he turned his back on the boy, adamantly studying his history text.

He heard Duo sigh behind him, then get up from his chair. A few minutes later, the hair dryer was going again, followed shortly by the radio . At least, Wufei thought, gritting his teeth, it's not as loud as before . And Duo isn't adding his own voice to the noise.

"Hey, Wufei?"

Damn! He broke his pencil in half. I spoke too soon!

"Wufei! What's it like?"

"What?"

Duo turned off his hair dryer again, grinning at his fellow pilot. "Sex. What's it like?"

Wufei's eyes widened. Surely Duo didn't ask what he thought he did. His eyes narrowed.

"Don't you know?" The longhaired boy began to fidget nervously, twisting a finger around a strand of his hair.

"Well...I ..You know...there just hasn't been much of an opportunity..."

This was too much. I can't believe it! He's a virgin! And after all the hell he's put me through!

"Duo. After all that talk! You don't know the first thing about sex! I can't believe all those times you and Yuy roomed together you never played a little."

"What!" Duo squeaked, Wufei got up from his desk, homework forgotten, and stalked over to his stunned comrade.

"Yes. Played. You know what I mean--engaged in a little heavy petting...mutual masturbation..."

Blood spurted in torrents from Duo's nose. "Damn!" he cried, bringing his hand up to stop the bleeding.

Wufei collapsed into laughter.

"And what about Quatre? The two of you are extremely close. Surely he's been a little curious, too?"

"Shit!" Blood flowed in buckets. Duo dropped the hair dryer, making a beeline for the bathroom. Wufei laughed so hard, his stomach ached. Oh, he thought, turn about is so fun!

He stumbled over to the bathroom, leaning against the closed door. "What do you want to know, Duo? You want to know what it's liked to be kissed, open-mouthed? Tongues touching, exploring. Do you want to know what it feels like to enter the SOFT, WARM, HOT sheath of a woman, what it feels like to have a man's hard, demanding length pierce you to the core...?"

He heard a dull thud from the other side of the door. Still smiling, he opened the door. And looked down. Duo was stretched out on the floor, dazed, a towel held to his bleeding nose. Wufei humphed, kneeling down beside him, smirking evilly. "Serves you right, Duo. It's only justice..."

"Bastard! How could you say all those things?! Heero!? Quatre?! I was just PLAYING and then you..."

It was too much to resist. Wufei bent down and kissed him, hard. Directly on those full, never -still lips. Not bad. He thought. His hair smells nice, And his skin... He sat up, looking at his friend's stunned countenance. His smirk softened to a smile. Duo opened his mouth, tried to speak, nothing came out. Wufei's smile broadened to a grin. Silence! Maxwell was struck speechless. Hmmm. I should have tried this sooner.

"Wu....?! You ... you just...just..."

I knew it was too good to last. Chang Wufei thought. I guess I'll just have to put a little more effort into it.

He bent down and again pressed his lips to the American's, this time letting his tongue dart out, flicking across Duo's soft mouth, encouraging the trembling lips to part. He smiled as Duo closed his eyes and relaxed beneath him.

Yes, I definitely should have tried this sooner.

Silence reigned this time for a good long while.