Gundam Flavored Kisses: Part 6

Duo: *wary* Ding Dong, the witch is dead?

Quatro and Quatre: Noooooo~!

Duo: *sweatdrops* What? I thought you'd be happy *stares pointedly at Quatro* especially you.

Qo: *glares* I am not satisfied!

Qe: *adds* Me neither!

Trowa: *hums randomly* I can't get no satisfaction. But I tried and I tried and I tried and I tried…

Qo & Qe: *Double Quatre Glare of Zero System*

Trowa: *looks up at ceiling*

Heero:. . . Aren't you kidnapped?

Trowa: Bathroom break.

All: Oh…. *exchange looks of ???*

1: *bursts onto scene* She's not dead!

Duo: Denial.

1: Dammit, I mean it!

Qo & Qe: Anger.

1: Oh fine, have it your way.

Heero: Acceptance. Hn, you skipped some steps.

1: *winks* I always was a fast learner *sweatdrops* What am I saying?? *giggles* You'll see, just wait till I catch her soul. *turns pink baseball cap on backwards* Yosh'! v^^

Trowa: *suddenly stands up*

All: *anticipation*

Trowa: Breaks over *wanders out*

All: *facefaults*

Duo: So umm… who's gonna announce the start of the fic? *mumbles* not that I mind if it ever starts…

1: Scyther! I choose you! *Scyther slashes screen to colorful bits of confetti.*

The confetti settles to form the words

Gundam Flavored Kisses Part 6: Where all is not revealed.

[ from offstage ]

Duo: *irritated* All right! Who the hell stole my undies?!?

Heero: *deadpan* The Underwear Gnomes.

Duo: Ahhhhhh!! Not the Underwear Gnomes! *pauses* Oi… I was *wearing* them when they were stolen.

Heero: *unusually helpful* The Growing Hentai Brigade of the Underwear Gnome Faction?

Duo: . . . You jest, surely.

Heero: *seized with the bug of OOC* I? Jest? With thee? Never! And don't call me Shirley. *sweeps shell shocked Duo into arms* Juliet to my Romeo, Isolde to my Tristan, Bonnie to my Clyde, Guinevere to my Lance A Lot! *wiggles eyebrows*

Duo: Ano…. *sweatdrops* They're all *tragic* characters, Heero.

Heero: Tragic? Nay, nay, nay do I say thrice thus! Nay, nay, nay! Hah, I say fie to Death. Fie, fie fie! Their names and love are burned forever into my very breast!

Duo: Heero… you're possessed aren't you?

Heero: *scary pupil-less yellow eyes* Fuck me! Fuck me!

Duo: *regretful sigh* In any other circumstances… *slams Heero over the head with a mallet a la Haunted Junction for Special Maxwell exorcism* *is dropped* Ite…

Purple Ghost of Dead Rei (PGDR): *rises out of Heero's smoking, slightly dented head* *laughs a la Snively* Wehehehehe… *drifts off*

1: *zooms pas Duo and Heero after her spiritually wandering sister* Choco Pocky-mon, I choose you!

*Monstrously alive giant choco pocky the size of Domon appears and goes on rampage*

1: *gasps* Oh, no! My Choco Pocky-mon evolved into a *GIANT* Choco Pocky-mon! *wails* And I can't control it!!!

PGDR: *drifts by once more* Too bad you don't have a badge…

1: *gasps* I'll get a badge! *glares at snickering PGDR* Then I'll catch you! Return, GIANT Choco Pocky-mon! *races off*

Duo: *stares*… We're just totally superfluous in this scene, aren't we Heero?

Heero: *has made it his mission to be unconscious*

3, Kurama, Hiei: You said it!

Duo:… Just… Never mind.

Duo and Heero marched off to the rescue of their kidnapped compatriot, ( Well actually Heero marched; Duo sort of… flounced which made Heero falter which made Duo very happy, and a happy Duo is a good thing, ne?) the lion leading their little band.


"Hm?" Duo twirled around, making sure to give an extra twist to his hips so that the skirt flared accordingly.

L: *back from vacation* Panty Shot 17.5!
S: *flashes V sign* Yatta, we're back!
*PGDR zooms past*
L&S: *blinks*
1: *madly racing on a scooter, neon pink wheels natch* *chanting* Gotta catch 'em all, gotta catch 'em all.
L&S: *jaws drop open* *exchange looks*
L: To protect bishounen from devastation!
S: To yaoify all bishounen within our nation!
L: To denounce all forms of non yaoi and angst!
S: To extend our reach to any and all grabbable body parts!
L: *dressed a la Jesse only in black with a large GFK insignia* Lauren!
S: *dressed a la James only in black with a large GFK insignia* Sylvia!
L&S: Team GFK blast off at the speed of *H*
Wufei: *dressed in kitty costume* Meowth - that's right! *humiliated*
Tamahome: My love!
Wu: *runs off*
Tama: *runs after*
Team GFK: Uh… Right!

Blatantly ignoring the rather scantily clad kitty Wufei scamper off with an ardor stricken Tamahome in hot hot pursuit, Heero and Duo stood in full lip lock underneath yet another oh so convenient tree, Heero's hands determinedly making their way up Duo's skirt.

"Were you… going to .. aaah.. ask me s-s-something?"

Duo was rather pleased with that sentence. It had a noun, a verb, hell it wasn't even a non sequiter and it was in an interrogative form! Considering that Heero was making great effort - and succeeding- in reducing him to a trembling goo of hormones and hair, it was a good thing.

"Hn." Content for the moment with his lips on Duo's throat, his hands up Duo's skirt, and his fingers making steady progress with those black panties, Heero could care less what/who had kidnapped Trowa.

Of course there were those who were not of the same opinion.

But such was life.

And it was onto this hot and damp palmed scene into which Quatre and Quatro arrived.

"Can I join ya, " jeered Quatre, making sure to take notes on Heero's technique.

"Never mind that! Can you two please keep your respective pants zipped and your legs crossed? Geez, " spluttered his blonde twin, peeking over his sib's shoulder and memorizing said notes.

Heero and Duo despite their rising uh… passions, couldn't help but pause and stare at the Wonder Twins.

No, seriously, they really were the Wonder Twins.

Quatre and Quatro were dressed in identical green spandex uniforms. An insignia of Sandrock was emblazoned on their chests while black knee high boots and black fingerless gloves reaching their elbows completed their outfits.

To say that Heero and Duo were stunned was an understatement of epic proportions. So to speak.

But it was nothing compared to the look the Blonde Twosome received when they began their routine, vaguely reminiscent of Trunks and Goten's Fusion technique, along with something from the Cirque du Soleil, Riverdance, and a badly rendered imitation of the Full Monty. At last, they clunked foreheads together and chimed, a bit spacily, in unison, "Wonder Twins Power Activate!"

Where there once was two blonde boys dressed in green tights, there was a Chibi Quatre riding a rather cranky appearing toy mechanical camel. The blonde boy with unrestrained glee declared, "Off foul steed to rescue mine fair cross dresser!!!" He then glared at a gaping Duo. "Well?? Wind the gosh darned thing up!"

Fascinated, Duo leaned down and did just that, forgetting even to flash a shot at his sometimes object of frustration and most times object of amore.

That's how flustered he was.

And speaking for Duo's hormones, that was a lot.

With a clink, clank, clunk, the camel was off!

PGDR: *snickers* Camel…
1: Aha! *flashes Choco Badge* I have you now! Milk Pocky-mon, go!
*GIANT Milk Pocky goes on rampage*
PGDR: . . . . Badge?
1: Not again… *sighs* GIANT Milk Pocky-mon return! I'll get you my sibling, and your stupid fic too!
PGDR: Sure. Right. *wispy body form holes within it to read -Loser-*
1: Freak.
PGDR: *smirks* Don't I know it.

So there our much mismatched would be heroes went off to rescue Trowa from the mysterious villain's fiendish clutches.

L: *seated on couch* Speaking of mismatched… *switches channels*
S: Oooh… Hotohori.. *also seated on couch*
1: Miaka! *pops onto couch* *tight fit*
PGDR: Tamahome! *pops into their laps* *ghost*
Tama: Nani? *pops into view*
All: *blinks*
S: Umm.. Wufei?
Wu: Onna! *pops into existence*
Tama: Wufei! *chases Wufei around couch*
All: Tamahome!
Wu: Onna!
Tama: Wufei!
Wu: Kisama!
All: Hai?
Tama: Wufei!
All: Tamahome!
Wu: Onna!
PGDR: Oh, for crying out loud….
*Chaos and chase continues*

Dorothy gazed down at the slumbering form of Hotohori. He was set up in one of the many large bedrooms on the Peacecraft estate. She did have to admit; he was quite the hormone booster with his long oaken brown hair fanned all around. She could appreciate a good bishounen as much as the next onna, but really, Relena's habit of picking up stray lovelies was too much. Just last week, the Queen had snatched no less than ten random pretty boys from the street, declaring them all to be her princes from the sky with a too rapt expression on her face.

This one would have to be rid of, just like the others.

With a look of cool satisfaction, an expression that fit all too well on her narrow face, she snapped on a pair of white latex gloves.

All: *pauses*
All: *stare*
All: *falls over laughing uncontrollably*

The blonde girl withdrew a syringe and needle from the deep recesses of her skirts. With a strength to belie her slenderness, Dorothy casually flipped Hotohori onto his stomach, turning the white patient robe up neatly above his waist. She gave that tanned - a nice, even I sunbathe stark nekky don't you? - butt a firm, friendly smack before swabbing one cheek down with alcohol.

Dorothy then inserted the needle into his flesh after much groping err.. grabbing err.. pinching, slapping… *searching* for a vein.

*Chase still continues*
Tama: *staggering* Wufei…
Wu: *staggering* Onna…
Onna tachi: *avidly watching screen* *collectively* Eh?
Wu: *passes out* Kisama…
Tama: *wheezes and passes out on top of Wufei* Wufei…
Onna tachi: *finally their attention is grabbed.
L: Woah nice… *handcuffs their wrists together*
S: *silently puts away key with a smile* Ninmu Kanryou.
Both: *laugh maniacally* OhohohoHOhohoHOho
1: You're all sick! *stalks away*
Both: *stares at PGDR*
PGDR: What? I warned you she doesn't like yaoi… much…
Both: *start up Team GFK motto* *run after 1*
PGDR: *approving look* Ganbatte! *gives Wu and Tama handcuffed together an even more appreciative look* OhOhOHoHohOho… *gives the screen an approving look as well as a non existent thumb's up.* I knew I could count on her…

Relena marched, disgusted, down her long hallway. She was setting underneath all that pink and gold. Each of the bishounen she had *rescued* from their poor fates had betrayed her. *HER* They had all turned against her, just like Heero… With a sob barely choked back, she recalled each and every one of her lovelies who had dared…




to turn to Yaoi! After the first dozen or so turncoats, Relena had gotten a clue and began to separate the newcomers from her older captives… patients, as if to keep them from infection. Yet somehow, somehow, they always managed to get free and pair up! Really, if she wasn't so naïve and trusting like all good little unsuspecting princesses turned Queen, she would suspect an inside job!

But no, Relena practiced what she preached and she preached what she practiced. A Princess turned Queen was faithful one hundred percent.

No matter how frustrated it left her.

1: *captured by Team GFK* *curious despite herself* Other victims?
PGDR: *smirks* Hit it, ladies!
S: Kagetsuya and Chihaya
L: Ranma and Ryouga
S: Seigi and Ryo.
L: Joe and Ken
S: Youji and Ken
All: No relation.
L: Kamui and… Kamui
Both: We won't go there.
S: Subaru and *shivers* Seishirou
L: Nokoru and Suoh
S: Eagle and Lantis
L: Touya and Yukito
S: Takepon and Takeshi!
L: Recca and Mikagami
S: Mitsuru and Shinobu
L: Shun and Hasukawa
S: Red and Greeen! aka Gary and Ash
Both: *eyes PGDR suspiciously*
PGDR: *whistles* *looks away*
L: Kurama and Hiei!
S: Nani?? *runs off*
L: *heh* *scampers after her*
PGDR: *sweatdrops*
1: … You left out Nuriko and Tasuki.
PGDR: *smiles beatifically* Oh, did I?
1:… You freak. *grins*
PGDR: Yeah, I know. *grins*
1: Why are we smiling?
PGDR: Because we're related?
1: Ohh….
Both: mWahWahHWhaHAHa

Relena paused before the door, smoothing her already perfect coif. She held up a hand to knock when…






With a none too small shriek of fury and denial, Relena flung open the double doors. After catching a goggling eyeful, she carefully shut the doors behind her. Blonde on ginger on brown.


Finally, she snapped with an audible crack, snapple, and pop. "I'm QUEEN. I don't need this." Relena headed off to search for something to vent her frustration on. Maybe put on a few Tori and Ani albums and go find herself - preferably in a super size carton of Godiva ice cream.

From the shadows, Dorothy smirked and thanked all the goddesses she worshipped for the small booklet of purple magic that had led to the summoning of a purple ghost. It had given her the answer to many a prayer.

The Latent Yaoi Fever. Lovely. Just the thing to snap Relena's mind. With a happy whistle and a jaunt in her step, Dorothy sauntered back to her own quarters where a security monitors that were on 24/7 in every nook and cranny of the estate lined her walls, from ceiling to floor.

L: *appreciative ogle* Niiiiice.
S: *snuggling now chibi Kurama and chibi Hiei* Haaaai. *contented sigh*
L: *eyes Kurama and Hiei* Weren't they taking care of 3?
S: Oro? I think so…
1: *pops out of nowhere*
All: *mild heart failure*
1: *shrieks* First my younger sister dies…
L: *turns to S* Didn't *she* kill her own sibling?
S: *shrugs*
1: *ignores them* And now you lose my youngest sister???
S: *turns to L* Wasn't neechan and her supposed to go looking for 3? Before she killed neechan…
1: *still ignoring them* ARghhhh!! Men's Pocky-mon, I choose you!
*GIANT Men's Pocky-mon goes on rampage*
1:… I hate my life… *starts wailing* *turns chibi* *sniffles*
L: *devious look* Turn to the yaoi side, young 1.
S: Haaaai, all your troubles go away with the yaoi side.
Both: Join us, join us, join us, join us.
1: *regards them with wide trembling chibi eyes* *wails* *runs off* I want my mom~my!!!
Both: *stare at each other* Ooops?
S: *wails suddenly* Shimatta! Hiei and Kurama ran off *starts crying herself*
L: ehehehe…
PGDR: *suddenly materializes* *gives audience a solemn look… well solemn if she had eyes to call her own* There's a moral in this minna san. Never underestimate the yaoi side of the force - it can even change your older sister into a wailing chibi *smirks* v^^

Meanwhile Heero, Duo, Lion-san, Chibi Quatre, and his equally chibi walking toy camel finally reached the location which the long haired boy indicated to be the hiding place of the evil one. Heero eyed the tower - which as per faery tale tradition lacked any sort of entrance, windows, stairs, doors, etc. "Hn."

The Wonder Twins had changed back to their green clad uniforms. Though one wonders if it was truly an improvement…

1: Hmm… I wonder….

Unfortunately, in their eagerness to rescue their fair Trowa, they clunked a bit too hard and were resuming Heero's former mission of unconsciousness.

Heero and Duo were left to examine both apparently impenetrable tower and two smoking, mostly dented blonde heads.


"You said it, Heero."

They started a fast and furious groping session.

PGDR: *sweatdrops*
L&S: *sweatdrops*
1: *still wondering*
3: *missing*
Kurama and Hiei: *hiding*
Wufei and Tamahome: *cuffed*
Relena: *gaining weight*
Treize, Hotohori, Zechs, all other bishounen in the Peacecraft mansion: *censored*
Dorothy: *watching avidly*
Trowa: *kidnapped*
Trowa's fiendishly evil captor: *unrevealed*
Plot: *missing with 3*
Part 6 of fic: *over*
Part 7 of fic: *coming soon*
PGDR: *sorry about too much self inserting dialogue and not enough plot*

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