Chibi, chibi, chibi!


notes: This is the sequel to the infamous, or not, "Chibi's Mating Habits". Nagging, threatening, and bribing does work ^_^ Recently, this was the most requested so~ Here it is ^^. I don't think it quite has the err… whatever of the first one, but it's chibi so *shrugs*

Jigoku - hell (as in Shinigami has returned from hell!)
Seigi - justice
Uchuu - space (as in Quatre's uchhuu no kokoro, space heart)

Normally I wouldn't use Japanese but the original fic had it so ^^

VO: Welcome viewers to our newest special - Chibi, chibi, chibi! Thanks to the generous donations brought in by our showing of 'Chibi's Mating Habits', the Society of Chibi Awareness and Preservation (SCAP!) was able to purchase an island for these endangered creatures. There, researchers observed these fascinating creatures more efficiently and in more thorough detail than previously possible.

Until today, the island was closed to the public. However, this evening we will be privileged to view the chibis once more in their natural habitats with even more detailed information than before! Included in this evening's programming is the exciting discovery of several new strains of chibi as well as more insights into their delightful world. Let us once more venture forth!

Scene: Wooded glen.

VO: Here we have one of the new species of chibi! They have a sort of exoskeleton and are considerably larger than previously seen breeds of chibi. Observe the Deathscythe chibi.

The Deathscythe chibi sits in the middle of the glen, by a pond, and splashes its feet in the water. It spots the camera. The chibi immediately sticks out its tongue, a silver metallic little thing, and gives everyone the bird. It quickly scurries up a tree, only the rustling branches indicating the presence of an occupant.

VO: *clears throat* Ah yes. The Deathscythe chibi is notoriously fussy about its privacy. It takes great care not to be seen. Few things will draw this particular chibi out.

The chibi's head peeps out inquisitively, drawing back the instant it sees the camera. It squeaks out, "Jigoku! Jigoku!" in incensed sounding tones before quieting once more.

Suddenly, out of the pond, there rises another chibi. It is all white, and it turns its head side to side as if searching for something.

VO: This particular chibi, dear viewers, is one of the few things that will draw the Deathscythe chibi out. This is the chibi Wing. As observed in the previous show, almost every couple has a unique mating ritual, exclusive unto themselves. My oh my, we will be privileged to view a rare thing indeed. Seldom seen, and captured for the first time on video, we bring you the courting rite of the Wing and Deathscythe chibi!

The Wing chibi continues to swivel its head from side to side, making creaking noises all the while. Finally it stalks over to the tree where the Deathscythe chibi is hiding. It makes funny ticking noises, glows red, and self destructs with a funny sounding 'gyu'.

VO: Never fear, viewers! This is part of the mating process.

The chibi still sitting in the tree cautiously peeps out once more. This time its attention is focused solely on the self destructed chibi at the foot of the tree. With an excited "Jigoku!" it immediately pops out and proceeds to put together the chibi Wing's scattered parts. The dark chibi tilts its head to the side when it notices that the Wing is missing some parts. A resigned "Jigoku…" comes from the Deathscythe as it pulls the missing pieces from its own spare parts. The Wing is soon fully functional and coos, actually more of a mechanical purr, at its newly found mate. Hand in hand, the two fly off into a cloud. They pause to moon the camera though.

VO: And there we have it, folks! Wasn't that an exquisite little ritual? The two literally become one with the sharing of parts! Though sometimes the chibi Deathscythe is not quite so altruistic.

Scene: Different shaded glen. The Wing once more self destructs with a "gyu". This time though, the chibi Deathscythe that emerges from the shrubs seems less than enchanted with its potential suitor. Instead of lending its parts out, it proceeds to bury the chibi Wing's parts with a decided, "Jigoku! Jigoku!"

VO: *ahem* Ah me, the trials and tribulations of wooing! For our next segment, we go back to our very first featured couple, the Duo and Heero chibi! As mentioned before, with the purchase of the island, scientists were able to monitor the chibi at a closer range finding many new intricacies within the usual 'family' unit. Exciting isn't it, dear viewers? Here we have a quiet moment between the two while the children play near the watering hole.

Scene: Meadow

Mini mini chibi Heero and Duo chibis stalk and play with each other all along the edge of a large stream. They are under the ever vigilant eye of their parents. The Heero and Duo chibi are snuggled together. They are industriously grooming each other. The Heero is carefully going over Duo's hair, strand by strand; a steadily growing pile of lock picks, detonators, spare combs, styling gel, edible thongs, etc. are next to him. The Duo chibi is equally diligent in his efforts as he rummages through his mate's bike shorts. In Heero's pile are the usual self destructs, extra ammo, a battered copy of the Chibi Guide to the Kama Sutra, and 101 ways to self destruct without actually dying.

VO: Let us gaze with contentment on this scene of domestic bliss. Grooming one another is one of the ways in which these chibis express their affection. Since they mate for life, much like wolves, ensuring a mutually satisfying partnership is key to their survival.

The Duo chibi, while still fumbling around in the Heero chibi's spandex, has stopped pulling out things and is equally set on pulling at some… thing. He is rather intent on nibbling on his partner's ear while murmuring "Ninmu Ninmu Ninmu." The Heero chibi, in response, is well… responding.


With loud cries of Ryoukai, Ryoukai, Ryoo~ukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiKanryou!

VO: Yet another fascinating tidbit about these creatures is their urge to have recreational sex. Like the dolphins, their drive to mate is not solely based on the primal need for procreation. This is startling true of the chibi known as Eyon that actively seeks Zechs *ahem* sex rather.

Scene: Bottom of cliff, on beach near water.

An Epyon chibi is snapping its tail coyly at a nearby Sandrock chibi. The Sandrock chibi, instead of responding, sits flat on its chibi bottom and wails, "Uchuu~~! Uchuu~~!". Immediately, a Heavyarms chibi appears, jumping down from the overhanging cliff. With an impressive 3.5 twist and repeated handstands, it comes to stand between the chibi Sandrock the chibi Epyon. It flashes its weapon at the Epyon, and the red chibi slinks back in awe and fear. It flashes its weapon at Sandrock. The now standing chibi coos appreciatively. They dive behind an outcropping of rocks. A nearby courting Trowa chibi and Quatre chibi provide the requisite background music.

The dejected and rejected chibi walks off listlessly. Suddenly, from the sea, an identical chibi Epyon emerges. The two eye each other appreciatively, snapping their tails in the form of an S and a U respectively, and jump each other with a loud 'clunk'.

VO: This complicated dance certainly opens one's eyes to the world of chibis. They are not as simplistic as first though by early researchers. Levels of subtlety and meaning can be drawn from their actions and reactions to everyday events. Watch now as an elderly chibi, Altron, instructs a 'gundam' of its young, the Shenlong.

Scene: Soft patch of crabgrass in shaded forest.

The Altron chibi stands and paces authoritatively on a large mushroom. Before him, a handful of mini mini chibi Shenlongs nod and watch their teacher. Occasionally, the Altron chibi pauses to shout out "Seigi! Seigi seigi seigi. Seigi!". The students enthusiastically squeak out their own calls of "Seigi" after him. Finally class is dismissed and the students leave after bowing to their instructor; they whisper excitedly amongst themselves today's lessons.

VO: Now, some of you viewers may be wondering at the concept of an elderly chibi. Still in heated debate is the theory that these chibis somehow have the ability to manipulate themselves into a more mature form. The scientific term for this is 'upgrading'. Observe now the Deathscythe chibi.

Scene: Edge of pond

A Deathscythe chibi stands alone, surrounded by several Taurus, Aries, and Leo chibis. They are all pelting him with dummy bombs and useless self destructs. Even more chibis, in the form of Cancers, are joining in. Actually, they're inside the pond squirting water at the Deathscythe - more often than not hitting their land bound accomplices. The Deathscythe chibi looks very dejected, black wings hanging droopily. A particularly large self destruct hits him square in the face. He pulls out a band aid and places it over his nose. An angry gleam enters his eye, and he pulls his black wings around him protectively until nothing of him can be seen. The mini mob quiets and shuffles around nervously at this unusual display. Several moments pass. Finally with a piercing screech of "Jigoku!!", the Deathscythe chibi unfolds. He has upgraded himself into Deathscythe Hell and is looking for payback. In triplicate.

The scene switches to a grassy meadow where chibi Wufeis frolic and squeal. Over this peaceful scene is the sound of massive damage being done unto a number of chibis and the delighted shrieks of a Deathscythe Hell.

VO: Yes, well then. Right. For these chibis to 'upgrade', there must be a tremendous emotional pressure and stress placed upon them. In the case of the Deathscythe chibi, it was anger. In some cases, like the one of the Trowa chibi we are about to observe, it can also be extreme frustration.

Scene: Oasis

Forty Magnuarc chibis place themselves protectively all around a frantic Quatre chibi. A lone Trowa chibi stands stalwartly against them all. He tries everything to get to the Quatre chibi: Infiltrating their ranks as a fellow Magnuarc, flipping over their heads to reach Quatre, using borrowed knives from a Cathrine chibi to get his point across. None of it works. Frustrated and exhausted beyond belief, the Trowa chibi slumps as he listens to the Quatre chibi playing a violin. Finally, he scrunches into a ball. Several moments pass with only the sound of violin music in the air. The Trowa chibi *pops* out of formation. The Trowa chibi has upgraded! He has changed outfits, from a turtleneck and jeans to poofy clown overalls without a shirt. He bulges and flexes muscles most impressively.

The Magnuarcs do not look impressed by this little display of chibi testosterone.

The upgraded Trowa chibi grabs the nearest Magnuarc chibi and, using him as a bowling ball, knocks the Magnuarcs on their backs. The Magnuarc chibis flail about, helpless on their backs, as the Trowa chibi triumphantly makes his way to the welcoming Quatre chibi. He whips out his flute, and the two make beautiful music together. This is subject to interpretation.

VO: Well with this positive note, we now come to an end of our special presentation of 'Chibi, chibi, chibi!" We thank you, the viewers, for watching and hopefully one day the endangered species know as the chibi will one day be available to the public. That's it … for now!

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