chibi's mating habits


*cough* A lo~~~ng while back I wrote a li'l clip *facefaults* and people wanted a full fic out of it. So this is for all those people... it's also all their fault *snickers* A spam fic... *giggles*

Voice over: Hello, and welcome to ITV's special presentation of "The Chibi's Mating Habits." Today, we hope to offer you an exciting and insightful look into the phonomenon known as the Chibi.

Setting: The Jungle.

Voice over: *softly whispering* And today, we are here to observe the mating habits of a particularly rare type of winged creature, the Chibi Duo and Chibi Heero.

From the depths of a tree, a black bat winged creature emerged carefully. A long brown braid trailed behind it, as it cast out its seductive call. "Ninmu! Ninmu! Ninmu!"

VO: Ahhhh, the famous mating call, let's see if a partner can be found.

A deeper voice boomed out, "Ryoukai! Kanryou! Ryoukai! Kanryou!" A white feather winged creature suddenly exploded out of a bush farther ahead, quickly heading towards the braided chibi and tackled him in mid air.

VO: *satisfied tone* Ahh. Looks like we have the makings of history on our hands. The two chibis have found each other. Now wasn't that a wonderful life affirming experience? Next is the Chibi Trowa and Chibi Quatre.

Setting: Swamp area next to pond, near moss covered rocks.

VO: *tinged with excitement* Here we have the mating ritual of the Quatre chibi in its efforts to court the Trowa.

The blonde chibi played a violin, occasionally glancing over at the green undergrowth. Within the thick bushes, a brown bang peeped out before disappearing back into the bush.

VO: The Trowa is being bashful. Let's see what the Quatre will do next.

The Quatre, with a frown of concentration on his face, began playing louder. He would occasionally pause briefly as if listening for something.

Suddenly, a soft tentative melody sounded from the bushes. The Quatre gleefully began to play louder as did the flute's player. This went on for some time. Finally, a half mask came flying out, landing before the Quatre's feet.

VO: Ah! The signal that the ritual has been accepted.

The Quatre, seeing the mask, immediately jumped into the bushes. Rapid rustling noises came from the spot, then a pair of suspenders, vest, pink shirt, other articles of clothing came flying out of the bushes.

VO: *satisfied* And here we have yet another successful pairing. Next, we present the Chibi Treize and Chibi Zechs.

Setting: Shade underneath a tree.

A Chibi Zechs lightly dropped down from the tree, to where the Chibi Treize was picking roses. The blonde chibi slowly took off his mask and stared deliberately at the other chibi. The Treize sniffed a red rose, and fingered the stem suggestively while raising one pointy zigzagging eyebrow.

They stare at each other some more.

VO: Ah. Look's like things are progressing rapidly here.

Then the Treize slowly slipped off one of his white gloves, one finger at a time, letting it fall to the ground. The Zechs slunk towards the fallen item, picked it up ... and suddenly grabbed the other chibi and ran up the tree with him. After several long minutes, frantic rustling of the leaves, and several angry squirrels were tossed from the tree, a single red rose drifted down to the ground.

VO: *cheerfully* And there we have the third chibi couple. Now for something a little different. We take you now to the Wufei Patch.

Setting: A long stretch of cultivated field.

Literally thousands of chibi Wufeis scramble madly in and out through the field. Some still dozing within their little cocoons ... err cabbage heads, others meditating, cross-legged, in various places, still other Wufeis fought each other.

VO: And here we have the Chibi Wufei. A loner by nature, occasionally the other Chibis will come to this place to pick up a mate.

A lone Chibi Heero suddenly swoops down on white wings and carries away a wailing and squirming bundle of black hair. On the other end of the field, a chibi Duo does the same. Various other chibi Treizes, and even the mated couple of chibi Duos and Heeros come to pick up a flailing Wufei.

VO: We've seen the various mating habits. Now, we'd like to bring to you the dark side of the Chibi world. The natural predators of the Chibi *dramatic pause* the fanficcers.

All the chibis suddenly stopped in their various activities. The Wufeis froze in place, while the other chibis frantically flew/ran out of the field with their particular Wufei. From the sky swooped down various cackling figures, scattering the tumbling squealing Wufeis into a frenzied panic.

VO: *stoic* Nature must run it's course. And as the Wufeis grow too profuse in number, the Fanficcers step in and weed out the population.

One black winged creature swept up a crop of Wufeis and disappeared into the sky, its crooning voice singing happily to her newest collection. While yet another group of predators, in a huge looming purple creature, scooped up Wufeis, Duos, and Heeros, willy nilly.

VO: *solemnly* It is the duty of the journalist to record and not to interfere in what is after all a natural part of life *voice sounds suspiciously choked**clears throat* But for a lighter look at the chibi, we present the chibi Duo in its maternal role.

Setting: Wooded Glade.

A black clad chibi Duo rocks on a pile of ... something, while sewing a pair of what appears to be spandex shorts. At a closer glance, he is sitting on miniature white and black gundams.

VO: And these are the eggs which will soon hatch more chibi Duos and Heeros. *blows nose* And thus life is renewed. As for the Trowa chibi...

Setting: Sandy Beach

The Quatre chibi is busily rushing back and forth, once in a while jumping up in order to catch small objects out of mid air.

VO: In a strange rite, peculiar only to the Trowa chibi, some sort of biochemical urge which scientists have not been able to pinpoint yet, it feels the need to juggle its eggs in a clock wise fashion. Unfortunately, during windy conditions, due to the lightness of the eggs...

In a close up, the Trowa is madly juggling eggs... which are being blown away by a strong gust of wind. The Quatre chibi is looking rather worn out from catching eggs non stop.

VO: Ah. The trials and tribulations of parenthood for the chibi are many and varied. Next we have a special clip for you folks out there *slightly excited tone of voice*

Setting: Wooded clearing

VO: Occasionally, the Quatres will find a lack of mates. In this case, they will... Ah, let's just view the clip.

A ring of whooping, cheering chibi Quatres dance about a single, lone Trowa. Suddenly they freeze as if spotting the camera's presence. As one, they all turn their blonde heads unerringly towards the camera. The Quatres suddenly rush towards the camera... and everything goes black, as the camera man's screaming and cursing fill the air.

VO: *coughs discreetly* It is also the duty of the journalist to venture out, risking life, limb, and dignity for the sake of the art. *mutters* Which is why I have the desk job, poor slobs. Our final clip of this evening is the Chibi Duo and Chibi Heero sharing a moment of domestic bliss.

Setting: Some forest.

A Chibi Duo flies briskly ahead. Behind him trails chibier(-_-;;;) Duos and Heeros, their children, flying in a straight line behind their err mother. Bringing up the rear is the Chibi Heero, always on the watch for any Fanficcers lurking in the bushes. They mark off with cheerful cries of...


VO: Well until the next special, this is Voice Over signing off. We hope you enjoyed today's presentation of "The Chibi's Mating Habits.", and have learned much more about these delicate unique creatures.

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