Relena Finds Out (Our Way) : The Joys of Pregnancy
Co-ficced with Tro  you should be scared ^^

One minute Quatre was sleeping quietly, the next, a steel knife was pressed to his throat, and a quiet voice hissed in his ear, "So you're the one who knocked up my little brother...."

The blonde managed a little squeak before Trowa called out, "Neesan!  Don't!"  Her firm grip suddenly loosened as his lover threw himself into Cathrine's arms, wailing, "I love him!  Don't kill him!!"

Suddenly the room was flooded with people, as the Magnacs, Quatre's sisters, Wufei, Duo, and Heero came running, well in Duo's case waddling, into see what the wailing was about... Not that they weren't used to it.  Trowa, much to everyone's surprise, cried at the drop of a hand grenade.  It was rather unnerving to see the usually stoic boy... so... well, vocal dammit.  He wailed at everything, if the porridge, he had developed strange urgings for porridge, wasn't just right; if the vases and curtains in his room weren't arranged just so... if the sun didn't rise properly... Needless to say it was a trying time for Quatre, though his staff, sisters, and Magnacs took everything in stride, it was frankly driving the Arabian pilot nuts.

And now to top everything off, his lover's knife wielding, punch happy neesan was here, ready to defend her brother's honor.

Wonderful.  Briefly Quatre wondered if Heero had one of his self-destructs with him.  But he squared his shoulders and prepared himself for what was to come, be it knives trying to *wince* castrate him or fists ready to beat his face into more interesting bone structures.  He stepped forward... and looked into the bowels of hell.

"Qua~~~~tre, " she hissed, Cathrine's red curls standing up straight from her head and crackling with energy.  Trowa continued wailing and clinging to his demon... his neesan's arm.  "Would you care to explain yourself?"

Quatre quickly found himself in the middle of a circle which the Magnacs, his sisters, and servants formed.  Heero actually looked faintly impressed at Cathrine's show of ... power while Duo was waving pompoms and cheering for the castration of all men.  Obviously, the other boy had not quite gotten over his shock at being pregnant.

Indeed Duo, when he wasn't trying to kill Heero, kept muttering.  "Pregnant Death... Death is pregnant.  Child of Death... Child from Hell? OH MY GOD!!!  I'm carrying the anti-christ!!"  At which point, they had to calm him down with his chibi Shinigami stuffed doll TM, specially designed by Winner Toys and then be put to bed.  Needless to say, the boy hadn't quite adjusted yet.

Trowa, on the other hand, earnestly read every single baby book, watched the Baby channel, and even insisted they address the baby as Pierro.

Quatre warily circled around, making sure to keep an eye out for Cathrine's twitching hands.  He really did not feel like joining the ranks of "Farinelli"; he hadn't even had his voice change yet!!!  "Now Cathrine, let me just explain...."

"Oh?!"  That one syllable sent shivers down his spine.  "Do, then I'll decide how many pieces I'll carve out of your hide."


Quatre coughed discreetly and immediately the Magnac fighters began to quickly set up equipment, the most obvious being the huge karaoke machine
and the speakers.  They darkened the room dramatically and set a spot light on the blonde boy.  Quatre began,

The most beautiful sound I ever heard~~
Torowa, Torowa, Torowa, Torowa.
All the beautiful sounds of the world in a single word.
Torowa, Torowa, Torowa, Torowa, Torowa, Torowa
Torowa, I've just knocked up a boy named Torowa,
And suddenly the number three will never be the same to me~~

Everyone sweatdropped as Torowa.. err Trowa rather burst into huge hysterical tears, using Duo's braid as a handkerchief to wipe them away.  Duo... was staring at Heero in a suspicious light, ready to bolt if his psychotically inclined boyfriend should also decide to burst into song.  As much as the pregnancy was a surprise, he did *not* want their child to come out traumatized by his father's singing.

Cathrine humphed but was unaccountably touched even as she wondered how such a girly sounding boy managed to muster up enough testosterone to impregnate her beloved uni-banged younger brother.

She suddenly produced a cape and wrapped it about herself dramatically.  "You have proved yourself worthy for now, but I shall be watching."  And she disappeared in a flurry of knife shaped confetti and her slightly demented laugh echoing within the huge room.

Duo sighed and wandered out of the room.  "Every night same thing, same song, same scene.  Doesn't she ever get bored?"  Everyone murmured agreement and filed out, leaving the very tired Quatre and a still weeping Trowa to themselves.

Duo hobbled down the stairs with a scowl on his heart shaped face.  He nearly tripped over his clothes a few times on the way down, but managed to make it to the bottom without incident.  Trowa's head poked around the corner, disappeared, then there was a crashing sound.  Seconds later, Trowa reappeared in full, his one visible eye gone wide in shock.  "D-Duo?!" he goggled, pointing with a shaking finger, "You... WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!"

The braided boy winced, but refrained from snapping back, as the taller boy had somehow acquired the tendency to shriek when startled.  "Er, I..." Duo began, turning a lovely shade of pink, which matched the outfit he was wearing perfectly, "I couldn't fit into my pants, okay?  I had to borrow one of Quatre's sister's dresses."

"Ah, I understand," Trowa said solemnly, eyeing his own stomach, which, while not being nearly so big as Duo's, was threatening to burst out of his own tight jeans.

Sinking heavily to sit on the stairs, Duo rubbed the back of his head and absently brushed out the tucks in the large pink dress he was wearing.  "Trowa man, we have GOT to get some new clothes," he stated matter-of-factly.

Trowa nodded, feeling a moment of pity for the other boy.  Duo looked a LOT more preggers than he did for some reason, but the braided death boy's pants were roomier, so had lasted until now.  Silently, the uni-banged boy reached into his back pocket and produced a small plastic object.  "Let's go," he said, displaying Quatre's credit card.

Duo beamed, then bounced, er, wobbled to his feet.  "Goodies!  Come on!" the violet eyed boy grabbed Trowa's hand and together they went off to find/ask/nag someone to take them to the mall.

"Wuuuuuuuuuuufei," called out Duo cheerfully.  "Could you find me something in black?   And tell the saleslady that it needs to be bigger and blacker than the~~se." Over the top of the changing screen came 3 huge baggy black pants, and 3 oversized black shirts, all landing on Wufei's head.  The Chinese boy stifled a curse before staggering off to find "bigger and blacker clothes".  How had he gotten roped into this?

Then he remembered Quatre's words.  "... can't leave your weakened, vulnerable, temporarily incapacitated, pregnant team mates to wander the
mall alone Wufei."  Each word had struck like well administered sucker punch.  And he had gone along with them on this... this Shopping Trip.

Wufei walked up to the saleswoman who glared at him.  She had been doing that ever since the Chinese boy walked in with TWO pregnant ladies.  Well, boys but he certainly wasn't going to tell *her* that, he had enough problems.

The other customers at the maternity shop had been giving him strange looks and whispering amongst themselves from the minute they had walked in.  A visible nerve began throbbing on the back of his head as he heard whispered snatches of conversation as he stalked past with yet more black clothes for Death Boy.

"... two of 'em..."

"And they're so young, too..."

"ashamed of his behavior..."


Wufei's ears turned bright red at the last, pausing briefly in his trek to the dressing rooms before stalking forwards.

This was not happening; he was not hearing this, that was *not* just a surreptitious pinch he felt on his behind.  Where was the justice???

"Oi!  Wu man, did you get some more clothes?"

Probably out hiding with Heero, that coward.  He had disappeared with a confused glazed look in his eyes once he figured out the reason for the
shopping trip.  After taking a brief look at Duo's growing waistline, his eyes had crossed, and the coward Yuy had beat a hasty retreat muttering
something about mission, spandex, and cows.

Wufei threw the black clothes, grunting in response to Duo's cheerful cries of 'thank you'.

After some rustling, Duo came.. bouncing.. well his belly was at any rate, of the dressing room.  Wufei's eye balls tried desperately to pop out and run away whimpering at the sight... but to no avail.

Duo was dressed fit to kill, no definitely not an intended pun, in a cloak like black outfit, complete with hood.  It didn't help that the boy had
insisted on keeping his black boots.  Beneath the cloak, when he flashed a startled Wufei with a cheeky grin, was a long black swirling skirt,
embroidered with little dancing skeletons on the hem.

His shirt was button down and oversized.. and black of course.  Wufei didn't know quite how to react except to nod dumb foundedly whenever Duo rattled out something that sounded like a question.

The black haired boy turned around desperate to get some air and came face to face with a snarling, saliva dripping lion.  It was too much.  The poor boy fainted mumbling something about injustice, dancing death, and cows and collapsed into a Wu-chan puddle.

Trowa's uni bang peeped out curiously around the stuffed lion doll he held.  "Duo-chan~~!  What's wrong with Wufei?"

Duo snorted, "Beats me.  Ne, what do you think?"  He performed a little twirl, or rather tried to ending up tottling and wobbling dangerously,
showing off his black ensemble.  Trowa murmured in appreciation.  "Skirts are so much easier to handle than pants when pregnant ne?"

When Wufei finally revived, they dragged him off to find something... brighter for Trowa to wear.

Wufei glared.  Duo snickered, while Trowa just beamed.  "I think it's cute!" the green eyed boy said in a psychotically cheerful sort of way.
The braided boy nodded in agreement.

Wufei, on the other hand, just continued to glare, well, as well as he could glare from behind the several bags and one rather large stuffed lion
he was carrying.  "What the hell is this?" his muffled voice demanded angrily, "I thought you were just buying clothes!"

Duo promptly stepped on his foot, "If Trowa-chan wants to buy a stuff animal, he can!"  He folded his arms across his pink clad chest and grinned
offensively, not that Wufei could see either way.

Trowa nodded gleefully, a huge smile plastered across his face.  It was still a little disturbing to see him that strangely cheerful, but that was
okay.  "Oo~o, let's look in there!" he squealed, suddenly pointing at a garishly coloured store called -Circus Maternity-.

Sweatdropping, Duo stared at the rather large sign and wondered who in their right mind would make a store like that, then shrugged.  He followed the waddling Trowa into the store, followed by the poor black haired pilot who was currently trying to figure out just where he was going.  After a few tries, Wufei managed to stumble into the store as well.

"Hurry up, Wufei!" Duo called from way on the other side of the store. Sighing, Wufei staggered off in the direction of Duo's voice, silently
wishing he had had enough sense to say NO when they pestered him to take them to the mall…

Next Part....

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