YYH Style: The Princess
and the Pea
or Fee Fie Fo Fum, I Hear the Tinkling of Bells...
Once in a far away kingdom, two stars from
the right and one step off into tomorrow, there lived a king and queen
who governed over their subjects and
land in peaceful harmony.
"Itai! Keiko, what the??"
"Yuusuke no baka! You were going off to fight our neighbors again, weren't you?"
"Maybe." The dark haired pun-.. errr king sneered. "What's it to you?"
The girl angrily brushed back her dark brown hair and pointed at a red headed bishounen sitting by the window. "Ba~ka, you're supposed to be helping me, remember? We have to get our...daughters married off, starting with our eldest, Princess Kurama!"
Yuusuke sullenly rubbed his disheveled
hair, for once not sprayed stiff with mousse. "Yeah? So?" He
neatly dodged another aim at his head. "Fine! Will
you stop trying to hit me?" He lay particular emphasis on the word "try" before walking over to where the red head sat. "Kurama...daughter.... " He choked slightly on the last word.
Kurama raised an eloquent eyebrow, smoothing over the green velvet dresswhich just happened to match his lovely eyes. "Yes, O-tousama?"
"Why do you keep refusing your suitors?"
Kurama adopted a stubborn expression on his normally calm face. "O-tousama! You stated specifically that is was fine for me to marry the prince who can pass my test!"
Yuusuke sweatdropped slightly. "But they don't pass because the seed you use keep sprouting carnivorous plants and eating the suitors!"
Keiko agreed, "Kurama, you have to get married."
"Hai!" Suddenly a cute brown braided chibi dressed all in black appeared out of nowhere, a huge scroll rolled beneath his arm. He toddled into the middle of the scene, huffing slightly under the weight of the text he carried. While the bystanders, mainly Yuusuke and Keiko sweatdropped hugely at his strugglings and flailings to get his presentation in place, Kurama only smirked slightly, absently pulling a red rose out of his hair to brush against his lips.
The chibi Duo was finally finished. "Let me explain to the audience what the author is too lazy to fic out." He acquired a suddenly insane gleam in his violet eyes as he whipped out... a huge ass pointer, with a chibi Spandex Boy on the end. The Heero chibi was tied on to the pointer, only his hands let free to.. err point.
"First, we present the Urameshi family tree!" He briskly whisked Heero, jamming Heero right into the chart in his enthusiasm, down to where a chibi Yuusuke and Keiko stood smiling on the chart. "Then their offspring, all daughters with Kurama being the eldest." There was chibi Kuwabara blushing in a lovely yellow dress to clash with his hair, a chibi Genkai looking stonily un-impressed, a chibi Shizura smoking a cigarette while clad in a simply cut black dress, a chibi Chuu in a ... goth style silver dress, and straight on down to where almost every single YYH cast male or female member was in a dress.
Duo smirked, "Busy weren't you two?"
Yuusuke and Keiko blushed and waved their hands frantically. "No!! We're not even married!"
Duo raised a chibi eye brow, chubby hands grasping the pointer. "Oh?"
The chibi Heero snapped the rope tying
him to the pointer, now that his "mission" as a pointer was over.
"Urusai!" He slid down the pointer, glaring at
Duo with his cobalt blue eyes. "Get on with our mission, Duo!"
"Hai hai" Duo stuck out a tiny pink tongue at his chibi partner. "Mr. Nothing is Better than Self Destructing Yuy."
Duo piped up to chorus with Heero's lines. "Omae o korosu!" And offered a cheeky smile when the other boy glared again.
"Well, anyway. The eldest has to get married first in order for his.. her sisters to marry as well." The chibi smirked, "If only to spare the royal coffers and theroyal palace."
A picture of the castle was shown. In the front, everything was neatly maintained and sparkling with glamour.. but the rear of the castle... Various holes and rubble had been blown out of the structure since the "princesses" dearly loved to fight and practice their manly.... errr womanly combat skills.
"So that's the end of the explanation!"
With those words, the chibi suddenly popped into regular size. "Oro?"
Duo blinked down at his de-chibified self,
looking up cluelessly at the suddenly grinning Keiko and Yuusuke. "Ne," Keiko said. "You look like a fellow in need of a bride."
Duo's eyes widened in understanding. Male equals potential groom, and his chibi form wouldn't save him now.
"Ano.. gundam pilots make the worse husbands!"
The poor braided boy squawked, flailing his arms ineffectually. "No
insurance company will take us.
Heck, I'm not even OLD enough to be married!" All to no avail as the twosome advanced on Death Boy. Kurama simply rolled his eyes. Well... another snack for his Hybrid Pea Makai Plant.
Suddenly a "BOOM" sound was heard. Everyone peered over to see what was going on. Chibi Heero had de-chibified as well and was glaring at everyone in the room. He marched over to Duo, hauling the other boy over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "Mine!" He declared firmly, stalking over to the windows where Kurama sat. The red head looked on disinterestedly as a BGM of "Closer" started to play, only looking slightly startled as the spandex clad gundam pilot jumped out the window, with his protesting and flailing lover over one shoulder.
Did I mention the scene took place on a tower, almost 40 stories high? No?... Ah well....
Kurama sweatdropped slightly as Duo's screeches were abruptly silenced. Curiously, he stuck his head out the window, only to duck back inside hastily to avoid being hit by several large bushes which fell from the sky...
The red head shook his head, he *really* did not want to know...
Suddenly the door was dramatically flung
open and a short, spiky haired fire demon was thrown into the room, cursing
for all he was worth as he tumbled
head over heels on the stone floor.
Nuriko flashed a V sign from the doorway. He was wearing a postal uniform... possibly the first time in the history of mankind, that the uniform actually looked *good* on a person.
"Ha~~~i! One special delivery order: One Bad tempered Fire Demon, A-Class." The purple haired seishi winked and blew a kiss as Hiei abruptly stood, clad in a princely outfit consisting of silver tights, a red and black tunic, and ...... elf shoes with silver bells on the end....
Hiei growled and took a threatening step forward, snarling when Nuriko simply laughed and wiggled his fingers in a farewell, before leaving. Each step that the koorime took forward... caused the bells on his feet to ring and jingle. Yuusuke and Keiko were desperately trying not to laugh.. but failing miserably.
Kurama, on the other hand,... had an arrested, thoughtful expression on his face, his kitsune heritage practically oozing out of those emerald eyes. He walked over casually, his green velvet dress whispering across the stone floor as he stalked.. err made his way over to the cursing Hiei. He purred, "Hiei.. did you come to win my hand in marriage?" The red head fluttered his lashes playfully. "How sweet~!"
Hiei spluttered, "Kitsune no baka! What the hell?..." Abruptly he stopped talking and stood staring at the approaching red head, jaw hanging open and ruby eyes wide. Kurama was in a dress. Check that, Kurama was in a velvety green dress, neckline lined with delicate white lace that emphasized the graceful curve of the silly fox's slim neck. His brilliant red hair was held back with two silver and emerald combs. He was...
Hiei abruptly shut his mouth and growled sourly, "Idiot! What're you up to now?"
Kurama shrugged and offered a faint, charming smile. "My prince?"
Hiei sweatdropped slightly and backed away from the approaching fox... then scowled even deeper at the merry twinkling noises which accompanied his every move. He bent down, keeping a wary eye out for Kurama, to get those ^*&*!@ shoes off.
Unfortunately, the shoes refused to come off, no matter how he yanked or how much he cursed... especially since these shoes were definitely not Xanth's curse burrs... Hiei had to take his eyes off of Kurama and focus all of his considerable... errr koorime cunning in removing the shoes.
They wouldn't come off...
Yuusuke was torn between laughter and relief. Thank Enma-sama that a certain *someone* adn't decided *he* would look good in noisy elf shoes. Then, he glanced sideways over at Keiko who was struggling not to laugh, clear brown eyes sparkling with silent mirth. She did look pretty in that dress...
"Hey, Keiko!! You know, that dress wasn't made for someone with hips like yours."
Kurama rolled his eyes and kept watch for... There! He quickly shifted forward a few steps, then stopping as Hiei's head had suddenly snapped up, dark red eyes glaring at him suspiciously.
The red head smiled angelically... or tried to, but the rather speculative look in his green eyes spoiled the effect.
Hiei snorted and went back to struggling with his shoes, to no avail of course, and looked up again.
Kurama *was* definitely closer this time.
This continued for several stops and starts until...
Hiei felt himself being scooped up into a warm, rose scented embrace. Kurama's smooth alto voice whispered, "Why don't I help you take off your.... shoes?" And the mischievous fox leaped into the chamber reserved for testing would be suitors before the koorime could voice the protests running through his spiky head.
Keiko and Yuusuke sweatdropped as Hiei finally found his voice, his *loud* one, within the room. They rather wished he hadn't.. They could hear *everything*.
"Yarou!! Those aren't my shoes!"
"Ara? How about this one?"
They could practically see Hiei steaming from anger... well that and the fact that smoke was appearing in sheets from beneath the closed door.
Then Hiei made a rather undignified sound, something like a yip, squeak, and a growl all rolled in one. "Kurama!! What the hell was that?!"
Kurama's voice was one of sheer unadulterated delight. He called out to Yuusuke and Keiko, "Otousama! Okaasama! You heard him, he felt the pea!"
"That's because it bit me, baka!"
"Rules are rules, ne?"
Keiko and Yuusuke shrugged. The "rules", i.e. fairy tale format, didn't say that the pea had to remain.. err sentinent.
Yuusuke finally agreed. "Hai! You may have my eldest.. daughter's, Princess Kurama's, hand in marriage."
"Idiot brat! I don't want *mmph*"
Hiei was abruptly cut off... and after several breathless gasps, rustling
of clothing, sheets, etc... the tinkling of bells was
heard, again and again and again and...
Yuusuke grabbed Keiko around the waist
and leaped out the window a la Spandex Boy. He shot a beam of pure
reikai into the ground to slow their fall.
He then ran past several suspiciously twitching bushes... and made a break for the forest, the twinkling of bells and "Closer" echoing in his ears.
To this day, if one passes by said castle, one may view the twitching bushes, and hear the mysterious stereo music, and the delicate ringing of bells.
Ye Merry Olde Ende
*notes*-- If anyone missed it, the references
to “Closer” song by nin, is from the
GW songfic “Closer” I did.
-And so are the Falling Bushes TM ^_^;;
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