GW Outtakes 2 or Another Day, Another Paycheck
9-9-99





Wufei nodded greeting shyly to the various workers and associates that worked in the studio as he made his way to this morning's set. Three months working here had considerably loosened up the black haired boy, though he still quoted his dear mother far too frequently. However, today he felt rather nervous. Today was the day that they would start recording for their character image songs. And he had never sung before...

Duo had reassured him, with a wink and a friendly pat on the back. "Don't worry about it, 's a cinch. Just open your mouth and belt out the lyrics." He had demonstrated with a rousing rendition of "Always With You." (Kimi to itsumade =p anyone got a better translation?)

He squared his shoulders and marched into the sound studio, early as always. Unfortunately, so were two others. And they were kissing, very fervently with hands wandering here and there and well.. everywhere. Wufei blinked. Then blinked again. Before he let an ear splitting shriek, he wondered if this was what Duo had meant by "special friends."

People from everywhere in the building came rushing into the studio at the sound and screeched to a halt at the scene before him. Wufei was lying, facedown on the floor, with a rapidly increasing puddle of blood below him. Treize and Zechs were standing rather guiltily next to the boy. Trowa, deadpan, commented, "I take it our cute little newbie has discovered what 'special friends' means? Can't you keep your hands off each other?"

Treize flushed and managed to look slightly abashed while Zechs simply raised an eyebrow. "Don't give me that. I saw you and Mr. I've Got a Chip Bigger Than My Manhood Winner in the closet at our last cast party."

The poor boy on the floor groaning and finally beginning to gain consciousness, heard those words and promptly passed out again. Everyone sweatdropped slightly, while Heero was heard to intone, "Our friend's liquids are not in proper alignment with the universe. We must rectify this situation immediately." The short haired boy moved towards Wufei, while everyone else stared at one another in confusion. Aligning liquids? The meaning became clear as Heero held Wufei up by both feet, upside down, and began shaking the unconscious boy up and down, as he would a yo yo, humming and swaying slightly from side to side.

This is when Duo and Quatre, trading casual insults, walked in. For once the two were in total agreement. What the...

Quatre stated, deadpan, "Duo, your idiot savant of a boyfriend has obviously lost his fruitcake marbles."

Duo glared at the blonde boy before walking, albeit cautiously, to Heero's side. "Heero... What are you doing?"

The dark haired boy flashed the American a lovely, welcoming smile, almost dropping Wufei on his head in his enthusiasm, "I'm aligning his liquids! The Universe said so."

Duo was treated to Quatre mouthing 'fruitcake' silently while trying his best to get Heero to let go of Wufei. "Now, Heero... Why don't y-" He was abruptly cut off as the black haired boy abruptly gained consciousness, let out a pitiful squeak, and managed to slide right out of Heero's strong grip... leaving his pants and dignity along in the process.

Then, the music director came striding in. Hn, these actors were always so volatile. The black haired boy was curled into a tight ball, ignoring another long haired boy's attempts to talk to him and hand back his pants. Most of the other cast was laughing hysterically. Just then, a dark haired boy, dressed all in white came gliding up to him. "Would you like your liquids aligned?"

The resounding 'NO' from the rest of the room was staggering.
 

The Hills Are Alive....


 


The music director, Mr. Hannball, cleared his throat. "Today, we are here to record the music for your image songs. Sadly, the first album, did not do very well in sales."

Quatre idly called out, "What do you expect? Insane enthusiasm over a bunch of crappy string selections?"

Mr. Hannball coughed and went on, a faint flush rising over his ears. *He* hadn't thought the songs were that bad... "Be that as it may, we're hoping that this second cd will make up for it." He nodded as Zechs lifted a hand in question.

"The schedule clearly states that the... -boys- will be singing only. Why are Treize and I here?"

The director smiled, clearly happy with this question. "Well, it's very hush hush and all, but we're hoping to include a hidden track. The entire male cast of Gundam Wing singing all together. Isn't that lovely?"

There was a brief pause.

"Are you kidding me? Me, singing with some two-bit strippers??"

"Watch it you tutu clad freak."

"Shinji didn't have to sing!!"

"Will you quit it with the Shinji fixation already?"

"I do -not- have a Shinji fixation, you pop idol freak of nature!"

"Hah! I saw you cuddling an Eva 01 plushie doll."

"Nani??"

"Please, let's not fight. The Universe will be very upset with us...."

"He's not a fruitcake!"

Everybody chorused, "Yes, he is!"

"Mama... is that you?"

Sweatdrop

With The Sound of Music...


 


Mr. Hannball nervously cleared his throat. Zechs and Treize were in the lounge, sulkily making do with the stale coffee and jelly filled doughnuts which had been provided for them. They were also attempting to work out a new dance routine for their "other" job... he *really* did not want to know. At least the secretaries on that floor were getting a thrill from the free floor show.

In the recording studio, it was peaceful... one could even say *too* peaceful.

Quatre and Trowa were whispering in the corner while staring at Wufei and snickering none too quietly. The black haired boy, for his part, was trying to memorize his song and do his best to ignore them. Duo was humming the melody for his image song to himself while casually playing around with the instruments. Heero was... meditating. The short haired boy was seated in a lotus position with various copies of the song lyrics placed in his lap, on his head, and in his palms. It was... an interesting sight. The Japanese boy was muttering to himself, "Become one with the notes, become one with the song, become one with the no-"

"Oh, Wu~fei."

He blinked and looked up, startled into making a squeaking sound when he noticed that Trowa and Quatre were leaning in a bit *too* close for comfort. "C-Can.. I help you?"

Trowa smirked before exchanging one last look with Quatre. "Wufei, do you remember when I told you that Duo... had a secret?"

Wufei nodded eagerly, suspicion forgotten. "Yes! Do... you know his secret?"

This time Quatre answered, "Oh, well." The khaki clad boy, forced into the outfit by his agent.. something about getting *into* character, seated himself next to the boy, Trowa squeezing in on the other side of Wufei. "It's no secret really... Just rather well covered up. You see... Duo..."

He paused, letting Trowa take over the sentenced, ".. used to pose..."

They chimed in together, leaning forward to better catch Wufei's reaction, "... nude for magazines."

The two boys were most satisfactorily rewarded by the landmark stretch of blood that spurted from Wufei's nose. Suddenly, two men came running out, both carrying tape and marker. They measured the length, arc, and width of the nose bleed and noted in on their clipboard.

"How's it compare to the funny kid with the bandanna?"
"Fair tie I'd say..."

"Hn."

Heero simply blinked and pondered at the large, spreading pool of crimson. He nodded knowingly, "Misaligned liquids..." And went back to meditating.

Duo rushed over to poke at the felled boy a few times. He glared at a snickering Quatre and Trowa, hands on hips. "Oi, what're you two up to now?"

Trowa simply winked before giving Duo a peck on the cheek. "You'll see." He gave the American a friendly slap on the butt before heading into the recording studio to sing. Quatre just kept laughing, making his way out the door and mumbling something about needing a cigarette break.

Duo sighed and scratched his head, staring down at Wufei. "Yare, yare..." He gingerly stepped through the rather messy splattering of blood and heaved the boy up carefully... Only to have Wufei shriek in his ear *loudly* upon gaining consciousness and seeing Duo so close to him. Duo... Posing, naked... He passed out again in Duo's arms. The American sweatdropped, ears still ringing from the loud scream and glanced over at the still meditating Heero. "Hee-chan, what does the universe say about ol' Wufei over here. 's he finally cracked or what?"

"... His liquids are misaligned, Brother Maxwell."

"Sure, sure. His *liquids* are all over the floor. Of course they're misaligned."

Heero replied loftily, "I humbly report what the universe has to say."

"Like the time the universe told you to jump me in the restroom..."

"Yes, of course."

"... and the restaurant?"

"Uh-huh."

"... and the nightclub?"

"Mais oui."

"... and the lounge... at 5 a.m. in the morning?"

"Hai."

"Yanno..."

"Yes, Brother Maxwell?"

"The universe must be one horny S.O.B."

"...... That is a distinct possibility."

With Songs They Have Sung...


They were prepared for anything. Barriers had been erected (stop giggling you hentais!! Argh....), ear plugs had been passed out, all glass items had been removed from the premises. Considering they had barely survived Trowa's singing debut... the next few hours, and how the equipment and people would stand up to the noise was questionable.

Heero pouted adorably behind the microphone. "My singing isn't *that* bad!"

Duo sweatdropped and concentrated on his breathing techniques. It wasn't so much his singing... as it was Heero's attempts to make up for the notes that just weren't there and therefore should never have come out of a human throat. "Of course, love. We just...need some space to better admire your vocal maneuverings and such."

Everyone sweatdropped, surely Heero wouldn't buy that half-assed...

The Japanese boy smiled, "The universe appreciates your efforts on this brother's humble behalf."

Or ... considering he talked daily with the cauliflower he kept under his bed and called "Missy" maybe he would.

Duo couldn't help noticing, as Heero began doing his vocal warm up exercises, that Wufei was carefully avoiding looking at him. Every time he would deliberately place himself in front of the embarrassed boy's line of sight, Wufei would immediately look somewhere else, a tinge of red appearing on his cheeks and under his err.. nose. It didn't help that Quatre and Trowa would start laughing every time they saw this. Duo smirked, fingering two sets of earplugs which were meant for the two laughing hyenas. He didn't know *why* they were laughing, but he was fair sure that both Wufei and himself were the butt of the joke and this was just a mild form of revenge. The earplugs which Quatre and Trowa had on were faulty...

Later, the sound technicians had to edit out the screams of Quatre and Trowa. Unfortunately, they couldn't be *fully* cut without losing some of Heero's singing as well, and since no one wanted another recording session, the rather dull sounding chorus of -Cry for the Dream, yeah yeah yeah- was added.

Ear plugs anyone?

For A Thousand Years...


Heero crept behind Wufei, who was staring rather blankly at the wall. The black haired boy simply refused to even look in Duo's direction, as the American sang his song, "Good Luck and Good Bye."

"Brother Cha~~~ng."

"Gyaaaaaah!!" Wufei whipped about, eyes crossing almost in surprise.

"Oh, Brother Chang." Heero sighed sadly, "You're going to misalign your liquids again if you keep doing that."

"... My liquids are fixed right now?" Wufei blinked and patted the front of his shirt.

The Japanese boy beamed, "Of course! My chants to the Universe were answered."

"The image song?"

"Why, yes." Then Heero grew serious. "What did Quatre and Trowa tell you? Does it have something to do with Duo?"

"Ummmmmmm...."

Heero's eyes lighted with that gleam that Wufei had seem a few times. Like the time Heero had ripped an entire Unabridged Webster's dictionary in half with his bare hands, or the time he suddenly announced the urge to wrestle Barney in a mud pit, or the time.... Well, let's just say that "those" times were not the blue-eyed boy's sanest moments.

So Wufei wasn't too surprised when Heero suddenly grabbed him by the collar and shoved him up against the wall, his feet, clad in specially arched shoes bought by his momma, dangling from the nice shiny floor which had been wiped of all his icky blood. "What. Did. They. Say."

He really had no choice. So he told Heero.

I don't Remember...

"Wahahahahha!! Quatre, ever heard of puberty?"

"Shut up, Duo."

"C'mon man. You have to admit, you sound like a gi~~rl."

"Duo, I'm going to *kill* you if you don't shut up."

"I'm your frie~nd."

"Duo..."

"Ack!"

"Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill!!"

And round and round the room they went, pink chasing black in a colorful whirlwind.

The directors, Mr. Eeney, Mr. Meeney Jr., Mr. Miney, and Mr. Moe, watched as the blonde went on a rampage with considerable interest.

"Interesting, Mr. Eeney, we could use this on the show somehow."

"Indeed, Mr. Miney."

"What about that new system the writers came up with, Mr. Moe?"

"Fabulous, simply fabulous, Mr. Meney, Jr.... How is your father doing by the way?"

"He's actually become used to singing soprano, Mr. Moe."

"Ah."

"He's actually seeing someone to help align his liquids, which I heard helps a great deal."

"...."

How the Rest...


Wufei breathed a sigh of relief as the music director nodded in satisfaction at the cut. It had taken 3 tries, but his first song was finished. He still didn't quite understand the title "Knocking on Tomorrow's Door" It was just... weird.

Mr. Hannball clapped his hands together several times, to gain everyone's attention. He beamed out, "Minna! It's time for the male cast ensemble. Has everyone reviewed their parts?"

The group grunted, called out, and otherwise answered the question with half hearted enthusiasm. It had been a long day, even for Treize and Zechs, who had done virtually nothing. Zechs, actually, had almost pulled several back muscles in showing off, with a little too much enthusiasm, a few of the hip gyrations he would use for the new "dance" routine he and Treize had come up with. Trowa, of course, had barely repressed a sneer at "amateurs" and amazed everyone with his flexibility. Quatre, inexplicably, had smirked.

Or maybe it wasn't so inexplicable...

Duo would sing first, followed by Zechs, Wufei, and Treize. Heero, Quatre, and Trowa would then sing the chorus between each set of lyrics:

Shine Star Shine.
Shine Star Shine.
Shine in the sky, starry shine.
Bright, brave, and shiny,
Shine Star Shine
Shine Star Shine

Then, they'd all sing together for the big finale.

Or at least that's what the music director hoped for.

Of this Song...


"Pssst, Wufei."

".... yes?" The Chinese boy still refused to look Duo directly in the face. Everytime he did... an image of Duo, naked, and posing for the camera would show up and he would start to bleed and bleed and bleed and...

"Yanno what Quatre and Trowa told you about my nude posing?"

"... Yes?" And bleed and bleed and bleed. Zechs was almost done with his lyrics.

"It's true."

Oh... there was some blood now.

Shine Star Shine
Shine Star Shine
 

"Only I was a baby when it happened."

Kiddie... porn??? Oh, look more blood....

Shine in the sky, starry shine.
Bright, brave, and shiny
 

"Yeah, for some diaper commercials, baby lotion, you know..."

"Did... Quatre and Trowa know about this."
 

Shine Star Shine

Duo laughed uneasily at the look on Wufei's face. "Of course they did. I get teased about it a lot... Are you all right?"

Wufei smiled beatifically, "Oh don't worry about me Brother Maxwell. I'm just going to go align some of Quatre's and Trowa's liquids now..."

Shine Star Shine

"KI! SA! MA!"

The maintenance crew just didn't know what was wrong with the Gundam Wing cast. They were always calling for blood cleanups.

Goes...


Duo grinned and waved Wufei over. "Ooooi, check this out. GW: Operation 2 cd is out." He flipped his braid back before popping the cd in and hit the play button. "It came out pretty nice, ne Heero?"

"Hn."

Wufei sweatdropped. "Heero... is detemined to get into character isn't he?"

Duo laughed and slapped Heero on the back affectionately, sweatdropping himself when he was rewarded with a glare. "Yeah, don't worry about it. 'S better than last week."

"Last week?"

"Yeah, he tried to throw himself out the building when the reviews for the cd came in. Something about having failed a mission."

"Oh."

Duo paused briefly before glancing slyly over at Wufei. "Too bad they couldn't add the "Shine Star Shine" to the soundtrack...."

Wufei flushed slightly. In addition to putting Quatre and Trowa, not to mention a few of the sound technicians, out of traction for the next few weeks, wrecking the studio, and just generally causing a lot of destruction, he had also destroyed the only copies of the song and lyrics.

"Ah well, maybe they'll be able to put it on the next Operation cd."

The Chinese boy could feel his blood pressure rising, "There's... going to be more??"

Duo nodded, absently wondering if the Universe had told Heero to wear pink spandex to work today. "Yup. They're planning at least 2 more, plus a few additional drama tracks."

". . . . . . " *Thump*

"Err... Wufei?"

"I want... my momma."

"Don't worry, Brother Chang, the Universe is here for you."

" . . . . Waaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

"Heero no baka! Look what you did."

"Omae o korosu."

"Stop that."

~Owari~

Oh, and the floor show with Zechs and Treize got smashing reviews ^^ or was it that the ppl viewing it were smashed?.. Ah well...
 


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