Through Eyes of Death

Lover… what do you see?

You… There is no one in this room except you.

Ah, but you're wrong. What do you really see?

Your eyes…. Your bright violet eyes… they're beautiful….

Hmm… It's flattering that you're saying that but you're still wrong. You haven't seen the true me. What do you see when I smile?

Your smile…? But you never truly smiled. No matter how beautiful your eyes are, they're not smiling.

So you noticed, ne? What do you think lies beyond my jester's mask?

Mask…. What others see… it's merely a mask, isn't it? I think you're crying… behind that mask.

Crying? You've got to be kidding. I don't have any tears. How can I cry when there are no tears to shed?

You can still cry. Instead of tears… you cry crimson blood.

Are you crying?

Mm… perhaps. I don't know. I'm not sure if I even have a heart to feel….

But you do…. It's beating right there inside your chest.

This? But then this is only part of the whole. Sister Helen used to tell me that there are two hearts inside a person. One gives life to your physical body and another gives warmth to your soul. She said we need both to survive and that we can't live without the other. But I think she's wrong…. I haven't been able to feel the soul's heart for a very long time….

Do you think I have both?

You? You're just like me. See? Your heart beats, but then your soul, it's so cold. It's because there is no heart to give outwarmth. So she's wrong. We're both here, breathing, surviving….

Then why did you choose me? Why didn't you choose someone with both hearts so that you can share warmth with that person?

What's the use? It's not mine. And one who is complete can't see the lack in others. I have no need for such a person….

You're lying…. You're just jealous of those who have that warmth, aren't you?

Me? Jealous? Why should I be jealous of such a thing? I do not need it nor do I want it. I think, a very long time ago, I have that warmth…. But do you know what hurts more than not having any warmth? It hurts far, far more when it is cruelly taken away. So rather than going through such pain, I choose not to have anything in the first place.

So trust me…. This world… They get jealous if you're happy, so if you find any happiness then don't show it to anyone… not even to yourself.

Then why do you even bother living?

I have made a promise… and to keep that promise I go on. Now back to the topic, what do you really see in me?

Nothing… I see nothing in your eyes. You have no happiness, no pain… you just exist. You laugh but your laughter is hollow, there is nothing inside it.

You have nothing… because you don't want to lose anything.


There is something inside you.


Only thing that you believe in….

Only thing that you can still feel….

And for that you continue to live….

You are right…. I am just like you.

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