Macho Man

hehehehe.. don't ask ^_^ one of Jaeny's friends, Sari of the twins ^^ asked for a silly vid fic to this song... and ummm this is what I ended up with *presses hands together* gomen!  It.. starts out normal, really it does..

Notes:  Ever wonder exactly *what* kind of torture the g boys have to endure as bishounen ^_^ A tribute to all the fangirls out there *snickers*

Macho Man
Village People

Body, wanna feel my body, body, baby, such a thrill my body

A dark clad figure in shadows walks away from the camera, suddenly twirls and strikes a pose with hand on hips and head tilted to the side with his trademark smirk on face.  Duo has on tight... black tights on, as well as a black tutu.  He seems happy enough. It *is* black after all.

Body, wanna touch my bady, body, baby, it's too much my body

The same scene repeats itself, only its Quatre, and he has on baby blue tights, with matching powder blue legwarmers.  He looks like a cross between the Olivia Newton John from the "Let's Get Physical" video, and a reject from Swan Lake.  *pauses to dodge tomatoes from Q-fans*  Quatre stands in a classic, position 2 stance, legs, elbows, and err..everything else prepared for the rest of the musical number.

Body, check it out, my body, body, baby, don't you doubt it my body

Again, the same scene, only its Trowa.  He's dressed in navy blue tights, and a sweatband has been haphazardly fixed to the top of his head, or rather bang.  He seems bent on turning himself into a pretzel.

Body, talking about my body, body, baby, checking out my body

Lastly, Wufei in a red satin body suit and tutu.  His hair has been... braided and bunned atop his head, with trails of black and red ribbons cascading over his ears... head... eyes.  He glares threateningly at the camera, his pose reminiscent more of a martial arts stance than a dance one.

Listen Here

Heero is the only one dressed in his normal spandex and shorts.  He strikes *his* classic opening move, feet and shoulder apart, left hand spread over his face with fingers apart to let his glaring blue eyes show *pauses to drool and appreciate sight*

Every man wants to be a macho macho man

All the g boys, minus Heero, are lined up in a neat row at attention.  Heero marches up and down the line, occasionally straightening their posture, etc.  He seems to spend an inordinate amount of time behind Duo... checking his posture of course.

To have the kind of body always in demand

Heero barks out an order, and the g boys go running.  Whether its from Spandex Boy's orders or the mob of screaming, weeping, drooling fangirls chasing after them is uncertain.

Joggin' in the mornings, go man go

The chase splits into 3 factions.  Heero and Duo chasers, screaming for Shinigami to *take* them to hell (~_~) and clamorously *amorously???* demanding to search through Heero's shorts.  The Trowa and Quatre faction are content to hide behind trees, cars, large mammals, etc. and follow at a worshipful distance.  They seem bent on throwing chocolates, roses, and scented silk hankies at the two darlin's.  The Wufei faction has the poor boy *snickersnickercoughcough* cornered, and he's barely holding them back with his poor little sword...

Work out's in the health spa, go man go

Heero and Duo cautiously drop their pose.  The two peer about them. They were hiding as part of a department store camping display.  They both sweatdrop and turn around upon feeling that they're being watched... only to break out into a full fledged run when they realize the trees, bushes, leaves, supposedly stuffed woodland animals are actually cleverly disguised fangirls.  Even the camping equipment comes to life to chase them.  Ah me, the life of a bishounen *wipes away sympathetic tears*

You can best believe me

Quatre and Trowa, meanwhile, are holding a conference with *their* fans.  Everyone is luxurating in a good cup of tea and various food snacks.  Classical music plays in the background while rose petals, and pastel~ly type lights sparkle everywhere.  It's as shoujo as shoujo gets.

He's a macho man

The Wufei fans all scream this as they grab any part of Wufei they can get.  Then, one of them gets the bright and oh so original idea of dressing him up with this really really neat makeup and dress up kit they just happened to drag around with them everywhere.

Glad he took you down with anyone you can

All that's left of Wufei is his poor hand reaching above the swarm of giggling girls.  It falters and falls.  A cherry blossom gently falls. The fall of innocence...*snickers*

Heero: Hn. Hey *looks mildly disinterested as Duo drags him along, feet and body flyiiiing like a banner behind them.  He's taking idle shots at the screaming fans behind them*

Duo: Hey!! *looks indignant as the girls close in enough to cop a feel*

Trowa:... Hey  *peers down into his tea cup... there's a chibi fangirl in there, swimming and waving at him....*

Quatre:  Hey.  *looks mildly disconcerted as the Heero, Duo, and fangirl congo line go chug-chugging through their fan conference.

Wufei: *would have said hey here but he's having his face done*

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

Heero and Duo suddenly screech to a halt.  They are sick of running.  They shall stand there and bravely take what is dished out to them.  They are MEN; they are courageous; they have... testosterone!!!  Well, not really, but close enough.  Really...

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

Trowa and Quatre take refuge in each other's arms from the chaos.  Everyone pauses to admire the sparkle sparkle scene and a few faint, having to up their insulin dosage.  Some have come with the foresight of bringing sunglasses.  It's... well, it's Trowa and Quatre dammit.

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

Wufei suddenly ejects *wheeeeeeeeeee* from the middle of his particular mob and goes into full chibi cross dressed, make up-ed neko mode.  He clings frantically to the ceiling despite all of his fans' not so subtle blandishments to come down.

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

The screen splits into three modes.  Trowa and Quatre sparkling for all their worth while their unworthy fans bow down humbly and drink up the pastel err.. well sparkles from their idols.  Heero and Duo are bravely *foolishly* making their last stand... Last stand?  Who am I kidding.  LAST STAND, against their ravenous, drooling, wanna rip off those tight tights spandex boy and see why those black riding pants are so wide braid boy fan-fan girls.  It's.. terrifying, really.  Chibi neko cross dressed Wufei is still clinging for all he's worth.  It's sad really.  Those brave children having to endure such torture, such fear, such such... *pauses to thumb through thesaurus* Such eeeeevil fangirls.

Body, your body, body, wanna feel your body

At the last moment, in fear of their life if not their very virtue *coughwhistlelookaway*, Heero and Duo break for it.

Body, baby, body, body, come and thrill your body

Quatre and Trowa have err advanced from the sparkle sparkle state to the censored censored state.  So much for shoujo status *whistles in the wind*

Body baby, body, body, love to funk, your body

The Wufei fans managed to get their hands on a super charged vaccuum cleaner and many attachable extensions later they're close enough to latch on to the hapless mewling chibi neko Wufei.  Alas poor Wu-chan I knew him well, a bish of inifinite screams and whimpers *cough*

Body, baby, body, body, it's so hot, my body

Wufei de-chibifies and de-nekofies once his feet reach terra firma and he makes a break for it.  Short black mini-skirt or no.  The fan girls pause to admire his excellent sense of balance in the break neck high stiletto heels, amazing for a first timer really...  Not as if he's done this before.

So hot, yeah my body

Somewhere the skies are blue, somewhere birds are singing, somewhere children are laughing.

But not here.

All the fan girls:  Alright!!

Everyman ought to be a macho, macho man
To live a life of freedom, machos make a stand

All the G boys have huddled in a corner, whispering and making plans.  Quatre and Trowa look faintly smug.  Heero, Duo, and Wufei pause to glare at *that* couple.  After coming up with a vague sort of outline, they break.

Have your own lifestyles and ideals

Duo: *wearing a vague sort of Honest Abe outfit complete with beard and tall hat*  To cross dress or not to cross dress that is the question.

Fan girls: Cross dress!! *grabs him*

Duo: *mobbed*

Access the strip of competence, that's the skill

Heero: *swoops in on a hang glider and manages to snap Duo by the err... pants! bwahahahahahhaa not the braid, the pants, the pants, y'hear me, the pants!!! -coughs-*

Fan girls:  Idon'tthinkso. *grab them both*

You can best believe that he's a macho man

Trowa:  *drives in a tank to the very edge of the mob whilst attempting to rescue his fallen comrades*

Fan girls:  *mob the tank a la pip squeak Ewoks in Return of the Jedi*

He's the special god son in anybody's land

Quatre: *lands in the middle of it all, miraculously not hurting anyone with Wing Zero.  He seems to be a bit... wing zero nuts*  Mwaahahahhahahahaha  I will kill you all.

Fan girls: *tumble everywhere* Kyaaaaaaaa.... *cause they know unlike Heero, Quatre actually carries out his threats =x*

Fan girls:  Hey *come fly~~~~ing through the air with the greatest of ease willy nilly*

Heero: *karaoke machine out* Woolie Bully??  Uno! Dos! Uno, dos, tres quatro!

Quatro:  Yeeeees?

Everyone: *facefaults*

*cough* At any rate....

Fan girls:  Hey *cling desperately to their favorite g boys despite Quatre's massive destruction*

Duo:  Hey! *joins in the fun and snaps Heero's shorts*

Fan Girls: Hey *does the same*

Heero: Hey *whips out his gun*

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

Everyone pauses in whatever they're doing for no reason whasoever and strikes "Walk Like an Egyptian poses.

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

Then they start dancing the "Safety Dance"

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

Electric Slide time!!

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

Heero: *glares* Omae o korosu!! *shoots collection of 80s dance tunes down*

Damn.... just before the Macarena too...

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

It's random chaos time, with chibi fangirls running and squealing everywhere.  Cross dressed g boys trying to save their dignity, and a Wing Zero crazed Quatre wandering around.

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho

Suddenly Xelloss the Trickster Priest appears in the midst of all this.

Xelloss:  Ah, the pain, the fear, the desperation.  ^_^ Just what I needed.  *is blown away by Quatre's laser beam*  Arigatoooooooooooou.

Everyone:  *stares at each other strangely* *shrugs*

Macho, macho man
I gotta be a macho man

Finally all the fangirls have been ushered off... or rather shipped in a crate and sent to bother the YYH bishounen.

Trowa and Quatre:  *sparkle sparkle*

Heero and Duo: .... *funny noises emnating from Wing Zero who appears to be blushing.... O.o*

Wufei: *accidentally shipped off with the fangirls*

Oh, the humanity....

Macho macho man
I gotta be a macho...

And somewhere out there... the Urameshi-gumi opens a mysterious package which is shipped with plenty of holes. Yuusuke shrugs and prepares to open the box...

~Ye Merry Olde Ende~

Notes:  Check out piccy of chibi neko cross dressed Wufei and tro's site *snickers* ^_^;;  Only time you'll see wu-chan as a neko and in a sailor costume O.o.  And thanx to L.Delvas for the tutu idea *cackles*... *keels over* All written w/o aid of pocky or soda... but thanx as alway to the flu ~_~;;

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