Gundam Pilots Who Cross-Dress and The Pilots Who Love Them

"Are they gone?"

Sandrock quietly stepped out from his section of the overlarge hangar.  He peered at the closed doors, before motioning the other gundams out.  "They're gone for now."

Shenlong grumbled as he made his way over to the tea table, which Sandrock had quickly set up.  "I thought they'd never leave.  Shinigami, your pilot has no concept of the word concise."  He set his dragon staff carefully down next to his seat.

The black gundam remained quiet as it made its way over to the tea table as well.  "Death has arrived and will drink his tea now."

Sandrock quietly sweatdropped.  He politely waited for Heavyarms and Wing Zero to make their way to the table.

"Heavyarms, how would you like your tea?  Milk?  Tea?  Lemon?"

The other mecha sighed heavily and sobbed.  "I'm no good anymore."

Wing Zero rolled its non existent eyes and mouthed silently.  Not again.  Heavyarms was more drunk once more.

Shenlong made a face and shot a disapproving look over at the slumped mecha.  "You've been chugging the extra premium oil again haven't you?"

Heavyarms let out another sob.  "'s no good.  I'm no good at this anymore.  I keep running out of bullets.  I don't have any other weapons."  He shot a blurry glare over at Wing.  "You've got light beams, buster rifles.  What do I have??  Guns that run out at every single fight.  You think I'd be upgraded or something, but nooooo.  It's the special mecha that get that privilege."

Sandrock sighed and silently filled Heavyarms cup with its 'specially laced' tea.  Hopefully, the other mecha would drink itself into a stupor after its outburst.  Sandrock turned to Shinigami.  "How would you like your tea?  Milk?  Sugar?  Lemon?"

Shinigami answered in its dark voice.  "Death has no need for milk, nor for sugar or lemon.  Death takes all of its drinks black."

Sandrock sweadropped once more as it poured the tea.  "Souka."  He turned to Wing.  "And you?"

Wing peered intenly into its cup.  "Do you think I'm fat?  I think these wings make me look fat."  It tsked and stared down at itself.  "White is su~ch an unflattering color.  Why couldn't I be black like Shin-chan?  Black is so... slimming.  Oh, I'll take it dark, very little lemon, only a smidgeon of sugar please."  The white mecha fussed with its wings some more before turning to its darker counterpart.  "Do you think I'm molting?  I think too many of my feathers are falling out."

Shinigami intoned.  "All things die.  Your feathers will become one with the universe as do all living things."

Wing giggled and smacked the black mecha, who took it stoically.  "Oh, you silly.  You say the cutest things."

Sandrock sat down, casually moving Heavyarms' teacup closer to the center of the table.  The last thing they needed was for it to drop off and shatter.  Suddenly Sandrock clutched its chest and slumped forward.  "Boku... Boku... boku no Qu~~atre."

Shenlong snorted.  Apparently the gundam pilot was going through another guilt pang, either that, or getting overexcited playing his violin again.

Sandrock abruptly straightened, ire burning in its usually calm metallic eyes.  "You dare to mock the bond between my pilot and myself."  It slammed metallic hands down, starting the drunken Heavyarms awake and into speech.  "I'm telling ya.. 's all a conshiprashy I shay.  Why ish 't that the other t'ree are redone and I'm left alone..." It sobbed.  "With only the empty bullet cashes lying shattered around me."

All the other gundams, with the exception of Shinigami, who seemed bent on maintaing its dark reputation, sweatdropped.  Sandrock cleared its throat, a bit annoyed that its spotlight had been stolen.  "How dare you mock the bo-- iya."  It cleared its throat.  "What we have between us cannot be compared to the simple bonds between yourselves and your pilots."  It's eyes sparkled briefly.  "Quatre, my son."

Wing giggled briefly.  "Uh-oh~~, " it trilled lightly.  "I think someone's been watching a bit too much Eva again.  You're having delusions of Eva 01, dear."

Sandrock shook its head vigorously.  "You don't understand.  When I let my soul be absorbed into this hollow machine, it was for my son!."

Shenlong simply added some more 'laced tea' into everyone's cup.  Something told him this would take a while.

"What about you~~~, Shenlong?  You're named after a gi~~rl after all."  Wing teased briefly, "Or should I say Na~ta~ku?"  Shenlong stiffened at that name.  "I am not a girl!  I am a gundam, a masculine gundam!"

Wing rolled its eyes.  "Sure and I'm sure that 'extending' dragon staff of yours has nothing to do with.. " It coughed.  " Your attempt to compensate for other lacks?"

"Kisama!!!"  Snarling, the Dragon Gundam attacked the white Gundam, who hid himself promptly behind Shinigami.

Meanwhile, Heavyarms and a now equally drunk Sandrock had thrown arms around one another's metal shoulders, swaying from side to side, singing.  "Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows my sorro~~w."

Wing shrieked and beat at Shenlong with one of it's light sabers.  "You beast, you barbarian, you you!!  How dare you assault a lady this way!!"

Shenlong retorted, "You ain't no lady, you're a gundam!"

Shinigami intoned, "All things are the same in the eyes of Death."

The two promptly turned to the darker Gundam.

"Will you shut up with that already?" pouted Wing.  "Death, death, death.  That's all I hear from you!"

"I am DEATH!"

Shenlong replied.  "We know that!  You only say it once every minute.  You'd think they programmed you that way or something."

"All things are equal in the eyes of Death."

Shenlong screamed in frustration, while Wing only giggled some more.

Heavyarms and Sandrocks' singing had degenerated into a drunken camarderie.

"I love you, man!"

"No, I love you!"

"No, Love you!"

"Death loves everyone."


Suddenly, before the other four gundams could gang up on the black one and show it a real taste of Death, they quieted at the sound of approaching footsteps.

"Urusai, " barked out a familiar dark voice.  Wing rolled its eyes, his pilot was so~~ tense.  Those spandex shorts simply screamed repression.

"But Hee~ro, it was so~ funny when Relena come on to you.  Ne, Quatre?"


"Mou iiyo.  Trowa, whaddaya ya think?"


"Maxwell, don't make fun of women!  No matter how annoying, or grating, or persistent, or..." Wufei stopped himself with an effort.

"Hai.  Hai."

Then the hangar opened, and the gundams were frozen once more.. at least until the next rest period.


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