(Blinking S, L, R appear in a black stage setting)
S: Errr. . neechan? Where are we?
L: More importantly where are the bishounen!?
R: *cackles* You'll
see. I wanted to try something different *whips out megaphone* Cue
(On stage, lights fix brightly on a blinking fuku clad Duo)
R: First up! Duo as our bewildered, Heero-chasing heroine.
S&L: *cheers and whistles*
Duo: Dammit!! I'm a hero, a heeeeeeero.
Heero: *floats down on silvery white wings to the stage* Hn?
L: *giggles* Dang...I think he's enjoying those things a little too much.
R: Next up!! Quatre
and Quatro, both up to a little skirt chasing. More specifically,
(Quatre and Quatro appear, hugging either side of Trowa's arms)
Trowa:......My duty as a Gundam pilot *S hastily interrupts*
S: Erk. What does that have to do with anything?
Wufei: *pops up* Nothing. It's just an excuse to cover up for the fact that he's enjoying his role in this stupid fic.
R: *blinks* . . . What? You didn't like your role in "I'll Make a Man Out of You."? *holds up megaphone again* All right peeps!! Roll in Nataku!!!
Wufei: *squeaks and turns chibi* Wak not that!!! *tries to run off only to be swooped up by a Dark Ominous Figure with Wings*
DOFwW: (Also known as the Dark Angel) Waaai Wu-chan! Kawaii!!
Wufei: *squeaks in liddle chibi voice* Woman! Put me down, woman! I refuse to consort with writers who make me female~!!!
DOFwW: *giggles insanely* But you're so pretty as a girl, Wu-chan! (Both figures fly away, argument fading off in the distance)
S: *blinks* That was a cameo ne?
L: yeah...Won't we be needing him in the fic though?
R: Oh don't worry *shrugs* We won't need him for this part. Let them have their fun, or at least let Tro have her fun. *coughs* Where were we? Oh yeah.. Introducing Hiei and Kurama, the sex changing, or at least clothes changing guest youkai from Yuu Yuu Hakusho!
Duo: *sweatdrop* Oi. I think they have it worse than us, ne?
R: *coughs discreetly* Well, I couldn't make up my mind who would where the skirt soooo . . .*slaps up signs on Hiei and Kurama's backs which read, 'Subject to change without advance notice.'"
Hiei: *growls and tugs down skirt*
Hiei: *blinks as now he's wearing the pants...and so is Kurama*
Kurama: . . . Is this going to happen during the entire fic?
R: Yup. Till I can make up my mind at least *waves hand offhandedly and suddenly they're both in skirts*
S: *giggles* Waiii! I like this.
L: *scraches head* So is it a yaoi fic? Or since they're both in skirts, is it yuri?
R: *blinks* Who cares?
More panty shots all around!! *cackles* Oh yeah, introducing two
new cast members. Zechs, Duo's senpai!
(Zechs walks on in a skirt, looking rather unruffled...and with two silver mini helmet barettes partially holding back his long platinum hair.)
R: *giggles* And
Treize, as another teacher in the school.
(Treize strides on, wearing a suit, sleeves rolled up and jacket casually slung over his shoulders. He seems to be rather amused by all the fuss and chaos surrounding him. He walks over to Zechs.)
Treize: *leans over* So, has she decided what panties you're going to wear?
Zechs: *tosses head* You're just going to have to find out, ne?
R: *snickers* All righty then, that's about it for intros. Enjoy and of course Standard Warnings and Disclaimers apply. With an order of extra silliness on the side.
When last we left our heroine...
Duo: Hero, I tell
S: *sweatdrop* He does a pretty fair impression of Relena. *gags*
Duo: *faints at being compared to her*
L: Erk. We sort of need him don't we?
R: *shrugs* *whips out megaphone* Duo! Heero! Nekkid!
Duo: *perks up* ?_? *eeps as he's booted back into the fic*
Duo opened his eyes with a groan, eeping as Zech's and Treize's face loomed close. "Umm, hi. I didn't mean to eavesdrop, I swear!!!" The sweatdrops only multiplied as the two paused to give each other Long Significant Looks (LSL from now on ^^;;) before advancing on him with equally predatorial looks.
better not be what I think it is.
R: *blinks innocently and points at T-shirt: Heero and Duo forever*
L: I want one of those!!
S: Me too!!
"Duo... We have a little problem. I'm sure you'll be willing and eager to help your senpai and teacher ne?"
Zechs smiled as well and grabbed one of Duo's arms. "Well, why don't we go off to a nice quiet coffee shop where we can talk." Treize took his other side, as to prevent escape most likely.
And off they went.
L: *pokes* What happens?
R: *shrugs* Later...
S: Want it now!!!
Meanwhile, our silent friend in chibi underwear...
L: *sweatdrop* that
didn't come out right.
R: *cackles suddenly* I just had a thought.
S: *questioning look* Hmm?
R: He blows up stuff right? So he's a bomber.
L&S: *give R looks that say duh!!*
R: And he looks like he only has one bang right?
L&S: *rolls eyes* So?
R: *giggles falling over* He's the Uni-bang bomber.
R: . .What? What? It wasn't funny?
Trowa turned at the sound of the light tenor voice. Quatre? His skirt flaring up that little inch needed for the perfect...
L: Woohoo!! Finally,
a panty shot!
S: *blinks* What number are we on?
L: *maniacal grin* 8!!
R: ...and on the seventh day, god rested *solemn look*
S: Ne...isn't she off the medication by now?
L: *shrugs* supposedly, she was like this before.
S: *knowing look* ahhhh.
Quatre ran up eagerly to Trowa, cheeks flushed and bright blue eyes shining brightly. He offered the other...person a cheerful smile. "Hello."
"Are you waiting for someone?"
Trowa nodded briefly, inclining his head err bang in the general direction of the school. "Duo."
Quatre sweatdropped at Trowa's efficient use of words.
S: *scratches head*
Doesn't it just mean he doesn't talk much?
L: yeah...I thought so too.
R: *sticks tongue out* Well, I think it's 'cause he doesn't say anything unless he has a point to make. *starry eyes* Strong silent type.
L: *smacks R* Certainly different from YOU!
R: *sweatdrop* wehehehehe.
They stood in silence. Quatre trying desperately to think of something to say, that wouldn't give a hint as to his thoughts...mainly his wish to get a more clear view of Trowa's panties. Trowa mainly because...well...he's Trowa.
R: Damn right!
L: *sweatdrop* What happened to your worship of Duo?
R: *starry eyes* Duo, my braided Death boy. Trowa, the silent uni bang bomber. I cannot choooose!! *runs off giggling insanely*
S: *wails* Neechan's cracked again!!!
Quatre fidgeted a bit before opening his mouth...only to have Trowa's faintly surprised voice interrupt.
"Isn't that Zechs senpai, " he choked slightly on the last word, " and Treize...sensei, " and choked even more on sensei, "And Duo... going into that car?"
Quatre looked over. Indeed, the two taller men... err people were dragging Duo off into Treize's car. The braided boy looked more than a bit frantic. The car drove off, leaving a gaping Quatre and a stoic Trowa, who was surprised but didn't show it, staring after them.
The two exchanged LSL. (See above for reference...and it's nothing hentai so there =p) Quatre blinked a few times before realizing that this meant it left Trowa alone. He immediately brightened up at the thought.
L: *pokes* Oi! What
do you think he is? A lightbulb?
R: *blinks* But whenever it's Quatre...I wanna use words like Brighten, Beam, Bursts with Goodness!! The BBB's as it were.
"Since you don't have anything to do now... would you like to join me for a cup of tea? or coffee? or soup even?" Quatre looked up hopefully into solemn green eyes.
Trowa nodded his bang in acknowledgement then lifted a brow. "How? Limo?"
Quatre sweatdropped. Apparently they were back to monosyllables. "Ah. My ride should be right around the corner actually." He ushered the taller boy in.
In another part of this fic...
Wufei screeched in horror. "Woman!! You are not putting me in that ... in that dress!!"
Tro blinked innocently as she held out a black low cut outfit, complete with lace, leather, and even a bit of velvet. She smirked evilly. "The Slayers fic had you in less."
Wufei sweatdropped even as he brandished his newly renewed Staff of Justice. "Let's see you try!!"
The Dark Angel paused briefly... before whipping out her nice shiny, just recently sharpened kick ass katana. "Care to try me?"
section of fic.
S: *giggles* Poor poor Wufei *starts giggling again*
L: *rolling on floor laughing*
R: *shrugs* Yare yare...
At the coffeehouse, Duo sat in disbelief, his jaw hanging open as Treize and Zechs explained their plan, and his role in it, to him.
Treize glanced over at Zechs, smiling slightly."..and so we met and fell in love. But teacher/student relationships aren't condoned so..."
Zechs nodded, flicking away a strand of long hair which trailed down his shoulders. "So we need a camouflauge, a decoy duck so to speak."
They gazed dreamily into each other's eyes, while pastel lights sparkled anew and flowers popped up all around, nearly burying the fuku clad boy sitting across from them in what else? . . roses.
Zechs gave a happy little sigh. "I don't want to hide our feelings for each other, but Treize's reputation as a teacher..."
Treize nodded, "Not to mention Zech's academic future." The two suddenly stood up and looked as if their love was overflowing... so much so that they just had to....
R: *snickers* What
else? Musical time!!
L: *sweatdrop* Isn't this a shoujo parody?
S: *blinks* yeah..
R: *shrugs* Who says I make sense?
L&S: *exchange LSL* . . . .
R: *whips out oft used megaphone* From the musical Oklahoma!!! *mutters* yet another thing I don't own...And yeah, I know that they singers don't match with the ones in the musical *cough* deal with it.
Zechs sang out, in the middle of the coffee house no less. "Don't take my arm too much. Don't keep your hand in mine"
Treize replied, eyes shining equally bright. "Your hand feels so grand in mine."
Together, hands clasped, and gazing deep into each other's eyes. " People will say we're in love!"
Duo sweatdropped and tried desperately to hide under the table. He ignored the stares and whispers of the patrons as they gaped at the singing duo going on before their eyes.
Hiei snorted, even as he tugged down his skirt. He was seated across the cafe, with Kurama, watching Zechs' and Treize's antics.
Kurama watched thoughtfully. "Is it just me, or are the two of them seeming to enjoy this?" He sighed as once more, he changed from a boy's school uniform to a girl's fuku...and back again within the blink of an eye.
Hiei shrugged and scarfed down more parfait. "Who knows why ningens do things like that." He gestured wildly with the spoon. Kurama peered over, sweatdrops multiplying.
Treize was currently trying to twirl Zechs, the blonde's skirt flaring wildly.
L: Yatta!!! Panty
S: *blinks* Dark blue panties with silver masks...
R: Weheheheh *grins* Thanx to advice from multiple peeps *flashes V-sign* You know who you are.
Zechs twirled about in a frenzy, long hair whipping out, "Don't dance all night with me. Till the stars fade from above."
Treize crooned lovingly. "They'll see it's alright with me." The two once more clasped hands and stood against each other breast to breast...err chest to chest. Both pairs of eyes were replaced by huge throbbing hearts, each with the other's image reflected within.
"People will say we're in love."
Then, the two sat down calmly. Zechs smoothing down his slightly rumpled skirt, and Treize brushing back his short impeccably cut hair.
Duo sweatdropped yet again. "If this is your idea of inconspicuous...no wonder you need my help." He looked suspicious. "Why me?"
Treize shrugged. "Why not?"
Zechs smiled, eyes crinkling up slightly. "Besides... I can help you get Heero."
Duo gaped. "How did you..."
Treize waved his hand offhandedly. "That isn't important. Now, is it a deal?"
Duo thought it over... for all of two seconds before agreeing. All he had to do was pretend to be tutored by Zechs, so that the other two could meet instead. Simple ne? What could go wrong?
L: *cackles* Oh you
wouldn't believe it...
S: *giggles* Duo hasn't been reading up on his shoujo manga has he?
R: *smirks and rubs hands together* Ahhhh, the possibilities...'nd speaking of possiblities...
Trowa gazed in faint astonishment at the singing performance. He and Quatre had just been seated when... Treize? and ...Zechs? had burst into song and begun their own version of a floor show. It was...interesting to say the least.
R: *snickers* It gets better.
Quatre smiled charmingly at the boy across from him. Now was a wonderful opportunity to get to know the other boy better. Unfortunately the fates weren't as kind...
In strolled Quatro, wearing tight blue jeans, complete with black boots. He wore his longish blonde hair loose, with a white t-shirt under a black leather jacket. Labelled on the back of the jacket was, "Sandrock Lives!"
The evil twin marched up to the astonished couple, while the other patrons stared on as yet another interesting show seemed to be taking place. Most made notes to frequent this place more often while tourists began snapping pics.
R: wahahahah *snaps
L: *whips out camcorder*
S: *adjusts live microphone feed*
Trowa's single visible green eye widened. "Quatro... Wha..." The rest of his sentence went unfinished as the visibly steaming boy grabbed at his hand and started to haul him out the exit. Quatre grabbed Trowa's hand reflexively.
The boy is mine!
S: No mine!
L: No mine!
R: Sorry minna... This won't be a musical moment, I promise *giggles*
Quatre lost the fight when he slipped on one of the many roses lying about from Treize and Zech's love filled musical number. He landed with a thud and could only watch as Trowa was dragged off, skirt flaring in the wind as if to wave goodbye.
S: Panty shot!
R: *rolls eyes* Aren't you sick of them yet?
S: Never! *both cackle maniacally*
L: *pokes* Oi! Been a while since Duo had one, ne?
Outside, while patrons plastered themselves to the cafe window in order to watch, Quatro unceremoniously stuck Trowa on the back of his motorcycle, thumping a helmet over the other's head...specially shaped for his bang even. They drove off with a roar.
Duo could only watch gawking, kneeling on one of the tables, his skirt drawn up to reveal...
L: Panty shot 11!
R: *sarcasm dripping* Happy?
L: Hells yeah *evil grin*
The chestnut haired boy could only shake his head. First Zechs and Treize's request, now Trowa being kidnapped by Quatro, what was next? Suddenly, a strong hand clasped his shoulder and he felt himself being whirled around. What the...
Intense blue eyes looked down at him, a hint of a smirk touching those sensuous lips as Heero stood there. Duo blinked cluelessly. "Anoo... personality switch again?" His only answer was a brief glint of a wicked grin before he was thoroughly pinned against the table and kissed silly.
The patrons began to applaud at the wonderful entertainment provided by the various bishounen. The manager considered offering the boys free food if they would come back more often...
S: *pouts* Why don't we have a cafe like that around here?
L: Yeah! I want one.
R: *sweatdrop* *blinks* Hmmm, I do believe that's it. *looks significantly over at S*
In the next part! Will things truly work out as smoothly as Treize
and Zechs have planned? Will Hiei and Kurama ever decide what clothes
to wear? Where and why has Quatro dragged Trowa off to? Just
what does Tro plan to do with Wufei? Will this parody develop anything
remotely resembling a plot? And more importantly, who's going to
clean all the roses off the floor?
Kurama: *shrugs* I'll do it *pulling down short skirt he gestures briefly*(All the roses pick themselves up an march out in two straight lines out the door)
L: *sweatdrop* All right. One question answered then, stay tuned for the next part!!
R: *screams suddenly* Arrrrgh~!!!!!!
L: What's the matter?
R: When will it all end? *sobs and runs off giggling insanely once more*
S: Ummm, I guess that's it then *stares at rapidly disappearing nutso neechan*
Part 4: Somebody stop me...
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