Gundam Flavored Kisses
Part 1

Duo: *whispers* why are we in this room?

Heero: *snorts* How would I know?

Quatre: Uh oh . .you guys . . I think this is another fanfic/parody.

Trowa: *quietly* Data indicates that this particular author is very very sick.

Duo: *snickers* Tell us something we don't know.  They all are.

Wufei: *rolls eyes* What Trowa means is that, her pill happy doctor has upped her cold medication.  She's now taking 5 pills per sitting . . . 15 pills a day for her cold.

Duo: *whimpers* We're toast....

All: *nods*

Heero: *whips head around* I thought I heard something *whips out gun from...well...YOU know*

All: *hear hacking, coughing, sneezing, etc.*
*Tall Asian girl with loong straight black hair pops out, clutching a Kenshin plush doll.  Her face is flushed and has more than a slight tinge of fever/manic gleam*

Rei:  Oi!  Put that gun away *irritably blows nose* You'd just be putting me out of my misery. Oiiii Lauren chan, Sylvia chan.  Come out, come out.  We've got bishounen here *tries to cackle and ends up coughing*
*Two girls pop out giggling.  One, with shoulder length brown hair and sparkling brown eyes, steps out clutching a chibi Heero doll.  Another, Asian with short dark hair, clutches her chibi Hiei doll.  Both are grinning insanely*

Both: Ye~~~s? *sweatdrops at Rei's incessant coughing*

Rei: *hoarse voice* Read out the casting for the latest parody . . .  I need a nap *keels over*

Sylvia: *giggles* Ha~~i, neechan!!

Lauren: *looks over notes* Hmm . . What's this one about?

Sylvia: *giggles even more* Neechan's been going over her old shoujo manga....She thinks a GW/shoujo manga parody is in order.

Lauren: Cool!! Ooookay.  Duo, you're the hero/heroine.  You play the ditzy, cute chick.  *snickers* Methinks I hear panty shots coming...

Duo: I protest!!! *bounces up and down in indignation*

Lauren: *raises eyebrow* Yes?

Duo: You chicks are writing me totally OOC.  Since when am I clutzy? And since when am I a ditz????

Lauren: Objection noted.  *pokes Rei in the back* Oi!  We have an objection.

Rei: *sits up dazed* Huh?

Duo: I protest OOC!!!!

Rei: *revives with an evil cackle* Oh?  Well since Heero's going to be the love interest of the heroine...I suppose I can call a certain _other_ braided person in.

Heero: *eyes wide and turns to Duo*

Duo: *sigh* All right  . .

Rei:  This is just for the sake of the fanfic, Duo *sighs and coughs some more* Besides . . . do you really want to mess with me when I'm SICK???? *burns with bright blue flames before keeling over again*

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Sylvia: Mo~~ving right along.  Heero-chan, you're the quiet, silent transfer student that Duo-chan falls in love with.

Duo: *rolls eyes* What a stretch for him.

Lauren: *bright gleam in eyes* Speaking of stretch....*edges closer to a wary Heero* How's them shorts, Spandex Boy?

Heero: *eyes her* . . . . .

Lauren: *sighs in bliss* One day...I will find the truth!!! 'Cause the truth is IN THERE! *points to Heero's shorts*

Everyone: *facefaults....'cept for the unconscious Rei*

Sylvia:  O~~kay, Trowa, you're Duo's best friend in childhood.  *sweatdrop* . . . Also playing a female student . . *whispers with Lauren* Are you sure that's right?  Not Quatre?

Quatre: *steps up with smile* Rei-san thought that'd it'd be more amusing if Trowa and I switched roles.

Duo: *snickers* In other words, she'd rather have panty shots of Trowa rather than Quatre.

Rei: *facedown* Damn right! *falls asleep again*

Lauren: *huge sweatdrop*  Ano, Quatre?  She spoke to you about this beforehand?

Quatre: *nods* Hai, I get a more difficult role in this fic.

Sylvia *checks list, voice quavers*  Quatre plays the cheerful, well behaved class well as his evil twin brother, Quatro.  Quatro is the sterotypical evil, brooding, class punk/bully.  He wears black leather and *chokes* would love to get his hot little greedy hands up Trowa's skirts....Quatre would also like to do the same, but he wears white pressed shirts...and is less direct.  Neechan!!!

Rei: Hmm? *revives again*

Lauren: Are you serious?

Rei: *shrugs and sits up hacking* . . . Yeah? Why not? *giggles madly*  I think it'd be fun.

Quatre: I agree!

All: *facefaults*

Duo: Ummm . . ok *eyes Quatre strangely* Trowa, you okay with this?

Trowa: *turns to Rei*  Does it involve Quatre and a lot of compromising positions?

Rei: *blows nose* Ayuh.

Trowa: *nods to everyone* Ryoukai.

All: *facefaults*

Sylvia:  Ano . . Wufei, you're their homeroom sensei.

Wufei: *chokes* Nani? *louder* Nani!!!

Lauren: *giggles* Umm, Rei-chan...there's this little issue of age here.

Rei: *blinks* So? *cuddles Kenshin doll* Zechs is going to be their classmate.  Who says parodies make sense?  Besides...Wufei, consider yourself a child genius or something like that *waves offhandedly...pauses to stare at hand* Oro? *waves hand again* I have maaaany fingers....*goes starry-eyed*

Lauren:  The medication is starting to take dire effect...

Sylvia: *giggles nervously* On with the list!! *cheerfully proclaims* Ummm, that's it....

Lauren:  *blinks and counts on fingers* Oh yeah....there's only five of them.

S&L: *chorus* Ninmu Kanryou!!!

Heero: *looks up* . . . . ?

Duo: *sweatdrop* Not that again...

Rei:  Don't forget the Standard Warnings and Disclaimers...*keels over again*

Lauren:  *grins* How could I forget?  None of the G-boys belong to any of us *mutters* more's the pity.
G-boys: *in unison, look up at the sky and state piously* Thank you!!!

Sylvia: *evil grin* In case you weren't paying attention to the above Warnings at the beginning, neechan writes parodies.  This one is going to be sillier than most *high fives with Lauren*

Lauren:  She is not responsible for any brain damage, property loss, or loss of brain cells while reading this fic.  *sweatdrop* huh?  *peers at paper again* In other words, there will be a lot of bishounen cross dressing, acting OOC, yaoi *snickers*, and general confusion and chaos *cheers* Confusion!! Chaos!!

S&L: Insanity!!!!

Lauren: *coughs* also be on the look out for cameos *evil grin*

Sylvia: *bounces about happily* PLUS  Me, Lauren, and Neechan will be manipulating *cough* nudging the G-boys to go along with the script.  *turns innocent wide eyes to them*  But you'll behave ne?

Rei: *whispers* . . . . . .

Sylvia: Neechan?

Rei: *louder* Or else!!!

All:  Hmmmm?

Rei: I'll sneeze on all of you *cackles and collapses again*

Sylvia: *sweatdrop*  Anooo.  All comments made by me will be as S, Lauren as L, and neechan *eyes the limp body* as R. *grins* Enjoy! *waves her Hiei doll's hand*

Lauren: *echoes* Enjoy minna! *waves her Heero doll's hand*

Duo: *snickers* Enjoy. *waves unconscious Rei's hand*

All: *sweatdrop*

Trowa:  The title?

Lauren: Oh yeah . . . *grins*  Gundam Flavored Kisses!!!

G-boys: *massive facefault*

Rei: *wakes up* Huh? Wha?

Sylvia: *sigh* Never mind, Neechan...

Rei: Okie dokey dukey.  *falls back down*

"Kyaaaaaaaaaa!!"  The ear splitting scream pierced the morning air, as a lean body dressed in a school girl's fuku ran out the door, long chestunut braid trailing behind her...err him.  Duo was late.  He was sooo late for the first day of school.  'Dammit.  I knew I shouldn't have stayed up so late talking with err . . talking TO Trowa-chan on the phone last night.  But I'm so excited!!' Duo gave a skip and a jump, allowing many interested viewers on the street to catch a flash of black beneath the short little skirt.

S: *giggles* Panty shot!
L: *rolls eyes* of course.
R: *nods solemnly and blows nose loudly into a kerchief* Take note of these . . . there's a lot of them *evil chuckle*

Duo ran toward Trowa-chan's house.  He only hoped that the other was dressed and ready to fly to their new school, because it just wouldn't do to make a bad impression.

L: Talk about OOC.  Duo worried about being late to school?
R: Keep reading . . . keep reading *coughs*

He was determined...

S:  To get good grades?
L:  To graduate with honors?
R: *cackles*  . . . .

 . . . to find a Boyfriend, yes Boyfriend with a capital B!, by the end of the first month.  Duo sighed dreamily, even as he ran faster.  He wanted a nice, kind boyfriend, one with a great sense of humor, who loved to talk about everything and anything.

All: . . . . .
L: *mildly* Hope the poor boy's ready to be disappointed.

Well, he'd settle for just talking.  Having Trowa-chan as a best friend was wonderful and all, but the other wasn't much of a conversationalist.  The fuku clad boy couldn't help but wonder if it wasn't the main reason he talked so make up for the long silences in between.  Anyway, he wanted to find someone just like his dream man.

S: Umm, neechan?
R: Hmm?
S: Why is Duo in a girl's school uniform....and Heero not? *confused*
R: Because.
S: Because?
R: Because I wanted to *cackles*
S: *nods* Ok! Just checking.  *turns back to watch Duo*

Duo tripped merrily up to the side of Trowa-chan's house.  He stood outside, staring up at the second story window where the tall boy's room was.

"Ooooooooooooi.  Trowa-chan!! Hurry up, we're gonna be late!"  Duo called out, irritably pulling his skirt down.  Damn thing was too short.

All: *giggles*

Trowa's pointy bangs briefly poked out of view, nodding briskly.  Duo waited, impatiently tapping his black low flat shoes, complete with below knee length socks, which had miniature scythe pom poms dangling along the sides.

L: Kawaii!!

Duo squawked as a black carry case bookbag came flying at him out the window, barely catching it in time.  He glared.  The braided boy then sweatdropped as Trowa's long slim legs dangled out the window sill.  He gawked up at the other boy's knee socks, similarly clad except for dangling SD lions.  Trowa carefully angled himself onto the window sill and launched himself out, executing two neat flips; body rolled up into a ball, before landing with neat precision right before Duo.  Unfortunately, his skirt wasn't nearly as rigorously trained as himself...and wafted up, revealing white cotton panties with an embroidered picture of a yawning chibi lion on it.  Nonchalantly, Trowa smoothed his skirt down and nodded in greeting to the befuddled other, indicating that they should move on.  Duo blinked, opened his mouth, closed it...and decided to remain quiet for once.

S: *shakes head in awe* Lion panties?
R: *snickers* Why not?
L: *chants* Panty shot 2!!

The two boys ran towards their school.  Trowa's long legs eating up the distance, his skirt affording tantilizing flashes of white; while Duo struggled behind him, cursing quietly and tugging down his skirt.  Stupid hentai chicks.

R: *snickers* Ya know.  Duo's acting more feminine than I thought he would.
L&S: *nods*
L: Panty Shot 3!

They were about to cross the street when suddenly, a white limo blocked them off.  A young boy, their age, only dressed in their school's boy's uniform, approached them.  The blonde youngster bowed politely before the two, before turning to address the surprised Trowa.

L: *giggles* Quatre is sooo smooth in this one.
R: *rolls eyes* Wait until you meet his evil twin brother Quatro.

"I'm sorry to intrude on you and your friend like this.  My name is Quatre Raberba Winner.  Pleased to meet you."  With that statement, he lifted Trowa's limp hand to his lips and gave it a kiss.  Duo's eyes nearly popped out.

Trowa regarded the blonde head bent over his hand steadily, a small smile seeming to play over normally solemn lips.  He graciously acknowledged the overture with a small nod from his spiky bangs.  "I'm Trowa Barton.  The gaping fish next to me is Duo Maxwell."

All: Tee hee. Gaping fish.

Duo snapped his jaws close.  He really didn't want to know.  Suddenly, he remembered.  They were going to be late!!!  He grabbed Trowa's hand, ignoring the blonde's suddenly sizzling glare and tugged the other towards the school.  He tossed over his shoulder, "Nice t'a meetcha and all, but we're going to be late.  So see you at school ne?"  They were up and running again.

Quatre shrugged and watched the rather pleasant view of Trowa's backside....not to mention the flicker of occasional white.  Note to self:  Trowa likes lions.  He grinned and headed back into his limo, motioning for the driver to continue.  He had a feeling that an interesting year was up ahead.

L:  Panty shot 4!
R: *sweatdrops and coughs* You're going to list all of them?
L: Hell, yeah!

Trowa eyed the running boy next to him.  "We could have asked him for a ride.  He was going our way."

Duo skidded to a halt.  "Shimatta, " he wailed, "A missed opportunity."  Then he gave the other a cheeky grin, "But something tells me it won't be the last of him, ne?"

Trowa shrugged faintly and replied, "We're going to be late."

"Oh yeah!"  He grabbed the other by the hand and ran again for the school, missing Trowa's faint blush.

At the school gates, Duo gave a cheer.  "Yes!!  We're not going to be late for the first day of school!."  He did a little jig, ignoring the fact that he was flashing everybody.

L:  Woohoo!! Panty shot #5!
R: . . . *staggers off to blow nose*
S: *sweatdrop* Neechan?  Are you going to be able to finish this fic?
R: *grins maniacally* Sure, sure Smurfette, let me just fetch all the other little Smurflings, and we can all pick Smurf berries together.  *whispers* Just be careful of Gargamel and Azrael....
L&S: *facefaults*

Suddenly, a solid figure, this one wearing a boy's school uniform,  brushed past the jiggling skirt clad boy, nearly knocking Duo over.

L: Damn....panty shot missed.
S: *sweatdrop*
R: La~lalalalala.  La la la la laaaaaa.

Trowa casually propped the other boy up.  Duo glared daggers at the other's back, expecting the other to turn around and apologize...or something.  But noooo, Mr. Insensitivity marched on.  Duo stuck out his tongue, and of course, shoujo rules being shoujo rules, the strange boy errr stranger turned around at that moment.

Duo froze.  Their eyes met.

L: Ooooo, *sings in hoarse voice* Love is in the air!
S: *starry eyes* How romantic.
R: *sneezes*
L&S: *glare* Rei-nee-CHAN!!!
R: Eep. Ummm . . . Banzai?
L&S:  *glares even more*
R: . . . . Eureka?
L&S: Noooo!!!!
R:  *sings* Fly me to the moon, and let me play among the stars; let me see what love is like on Jupiter and Mars.  In other words, hold my hand.  In other words, darling kiss me.
L: *shrugs and turns to Sylvia* ne?
S: Close enough.
R: Whew. *sneezes again* Oops.
*loud sounds of violence done to poor poor helpless sick person*

Duo blinked and blinked again.  The other boy was the one!!  His intense cobalt blue eyes, that thick luxurious pelt of dark brown hair. . .

L: Pelt?  What is he a mink?
S: *snickers*
R: *rolls eyes* Work with me here.  This is SHOUJO style. *coughs incessantly*

. . .that firm body, that firm ass...Trowa lightly smacked Duo upside the head.  "Hurry."  Duo knocked the floating flowers and sparkling lights from the air around him, peering back to glance wistfully at the boy before hurrying into class.

L:  So?  What's Heero's reaction?
R: *sigh* I'm typing, I'm typing.
S:  *cracks whip* Type faster!!
L:  *cracks whip* Yeah! Faster!
R: . . . . . .

Heero blinked silently, as only deep brooding men err boys can do.  Wasn't it against school regulations to wear flashy underwear?  Both those girls err boys had some _interesting_ ones for certain.  Especially the one with the long chestnut braid, the twitching length called attention to...Heero, possibly for the first time in his life, felt an imminent nose bleed.

L&S: *cheers gleefully* Hentai!!!
L: *blinks at R* Isn't that a bit...well, unromantic?
R: *snorts, promptly chokes* Ewww . . mucus. . .err nevermind.   *rolls eyes* Su~~re.  Teenage horomones are soooo romantic.
S: *bounces protesting* Neechan!! This is shoujo remember?  What's reality got to do with anything?
R: *sighs and blows nose* All right.  All right.

Heero manfully? held back the nosebleed, mentally noting to himself to find out who that girl err boy was.  The creamy skin, long lashes, and full lips...had immediately captivated his horomones *whap* err heart rather.  Those wide violet eyes had looked into his soul, meeting in a soul merge that would never part the two of them.  Even if the sky should sunder apart, the mountains should tumble into the ;jiujk;pjkj*sounds of keyboard being wrestled with*  Heero impatiently tapped his foot.  Well?

R: *glares at S and L* Well?? Happy now?
S&L: *chorus* Ha~~~i.
R: *coughs* Hn!

He needed to get the other boy's phone number and name at any rate.  He walked into the school, back straight and spine tall.

R: *thoughtful* Just as if he had a stick up his a*mouth clasped close by both L and S*

Duo impatiently tapped his foot, peering out the window, thinking that the particular cloud looked exactly like the boy of his dream's butt.  To both Trowa's and Duo's surprise, Quatre was also in their class.  Apparently he was rather well known as the local class leader and as a sure shoo in for the title of class, if not grade level, president.

Right now the blonde boy was giving the quiet one, come hither looks.  Looks which while Trowa wasn't exactly encouraging...he wasn't discouraging them either.  Duo smirked to himself, pulling down his skirt once more.  Dammit!! These skirts were getting shorter.  He knew it!

All: *giggle*

The sensei, a short rather young looking man err boy, coughed, gathering the class' attention.  "Minna.  I'd like to present to you a new student to this school, as well as district.  Please treat him well."  The black-haired boy nodded to the slightly shadowed figure next to him.

"Heero Yuy."

Wufei sweatdropped slightly.  "Would you like to say something more about yourself?"

"No....Thank you."  The last phrase was given almost grudgingly.

Duo's violet eyes widened.  He was the one!  And in his class as well.  Silently he did a little dance, how lucky could he get?

L: *snickers* Well, he's in character.

R: *sigh* Yeah, well.  I was going to have _him_ in a skirt instead of Duo, just wouldn't compute, you know? *sneezes*

S:  *pouts* Too bad.

Duo: *pouts* Too bad.

R: Duo!!! *coughs* You're supposed to be in the fic, not here!! *chases him off...feels faint and collapses*  . . . .

S: *giggles* I think this is the end of Part 1.

L:  Ja~~ minna.  Till Rei-chan feels well enough to start Part 2.  *pokes Duo* Oi! You made her collapse.  You read the previews for the next chapter.

Duo: *grumbles* Fine fine.  *tugs down skirt to L's and S's delighted cackles...R would cackle too but she was unconscious. . . . . *  *dramatic pose*  Will Duo meet and realize his dream boat?  Will Quatre get lucky with Trowa?  Who is Quatre's mysterious twin brother?  Why is Zechs in a skirt and who is his mysterious boyfriend outside of school?  All this and more in the next installment of Gundam Flavored Kisses!!

S: *giggles* Oyasumi, minna *waves Hiei doll's hand*

L: *giggles as well* Ja ne *waves Heero doll's hand*

Duo: *mischievous look* Ja~~~ *waves unconscious Rei's hand*

S:  Oi!!! Chotto *grins* If you liked this...and didn't think it was too insane, neechan *eyeballs the err body* would appreciate letting her know if you want more *huge evil grin* In other words, feel free to NAG!!

L: *huge evil grin* The more the better!!!

S&L:  *cackles insanely*

Duo: *sweatdrop* . . . . I think I'd better rest up now.  *wanders off calling* Ohhhhh, Heero!!! Wanna play?

S&L: *stare at each other*

L:  This we gotta see.

S: *nods*

L&S: *drag R's body along with them as they follow Duo*

Part 2... Yes there is a pt. 2 to this madness ^_^;;

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